I’ve never been more single than I am right now, so when I saw that a casting call for the next season of The Bachelor was coming to my town, I thought, why the heck not? I’m single AF, I don’t have any bills to pay, sounds like the perfect time to catch fifteen minutes of fame and possibly snag a husband.
The nerves were real. So real. Which is strange because I don’t normally get nervous. You try to make friends with the girls around you in line, but let’s be honest, we’re all thinking the same thing. This is your competition. I caught girls giving me the up and down. I was definitely staring, and judging, and more staring.
“Well I’m prettier than her,” “Definitely not prettier than her,” “Does she have a six pack?” “Wow what perfect beach waves.” “She’s at least 6 feet tall.” The thoughts go on and on and on throughout the four-hour audition process.
You fill out a bunch of lovey-dovey paperwork.
“How many serious relationships were you in?” “How long did they last?” “Why did they end?”
Okay ABC, let’s take a trip down heartbreak lane and relive all my past breakups. This is supposed to be about finding NEW love, but I guess I understand they needed to know what kind of character they would be looking at.
Then you stand in a really long line to get your pictures taken. Once you get to the front, you write your name and phone number down on a whiteboard and pose for four pictures. One close up, one regular headshot, one full body shot, and one “funny” shot. I did the pig nose. Which is probably why I didn’t get called back.
The good thing about this part of the process is that although it was a season of The Bachelor, men also show up to try out for the next Bachelorette. And I mean HOT guys. So I consciously decided that if they ever have a casting call there again, I’m going to go and camp out at the picture booth, catch some of the hot guys’ numbers on the white board, and call it a day.
So after you get your paperwork done and have your photo shoot, they take you into a waiting room. Our waiting room looked like a movie theater, where they had The Bachelorette playing on repeat. I watched JoJo break Luke’s heart four times in one sitting. It really got me in the mood to find love.
From there, they take you to a private waiting room. A single hallway where you sit single file against a wall. No one speaks to each other because you know the time is coming near to strut your stuff and the girl next to you is not going to take your spot. Heck no.
Then, one producer comes and gets you. You walk back to a private room and it is VERY fancy. It looks like you are in a TV studio. It’s very bright and white. There are mirrors with the big lights around it, and you sit in this really nice white, plush chair. It was the closest I’ll ever be to feeling like I was Beyoncé sitting down for an interview.
This is your on-camera interview, but a producer is in the room with you, so it’s do or die. They ask you pretty standard questions at first.
“Tell me about your job,” “What do you like about your job?” “Do you have any pets?”
Like what does my goldendoodle have to do with me trying out for this show? Come on.
Then they hit you with the good stuff.
“So why do you want to find love on TV?”
My response, “Well…I can’t find it anywhere else! All my Tinder matches don’t really have what I’m looking for.”
“How did all your past relationships end?”
All my past boyfriends either moved continents or to the other side of the country, which I thought would make me stand out. Guess not.
And really, that’s it. The on-camera interview takes about seven minutes, and they ask you similar questions to those on the questionnaire, and then you’re done! They give you a time frame of when you will hear back if you turn out to be a chosen one.
Looking back on the process, it was pretty painless and actually very fun. I would definitely do it again! Except I would try to make sure I sat next to someone normal because you do wait for the majority of it. I sat next to a girl who was wearing a pirate costume and a girl who was making out with her gum for four hours, so you can imagine how that went.
I can’t say that I’m disappointed that I wasn’t chosen because Nick Viall isn’t at the top of my “potential husband” list. I just take this as “The Bachelor” Gods way of telling me to try out next season..
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