I’ve never defined myself as a feminist, because I’ve always viewed it as an ugly, ugly word. I want nothing more in my life than to someday (tomorrow?) be a mother. I very much view my success, as a woman, based on whether or not that happens. I love my job, but having a career was never really something I wanted to do, it was something I had to do, and I mostly blamed feminism for that. We’re living in a society that often disparages stay-at-home moms, one that makes it almost imperative for a family to have two incomes to survive, and one that boasts that “women can have it all.” I blamed feminism for that, too. I don’t want “it all.” I want one thing, and I want to devote myself to it fully, which, while not impossible, seems to be increasingly difficult.
I’d always viewed feminists as bra-burning, misandrous, burly women — women who denounced femininity and traditional gender roles. I never saw something wrong with wanting to be womanly, but in my mind, feminists viewed womanliness as a weakness. I merely viewed it as something that separated me from men. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve accepted (kind of) that there are some women whose values are different from mine, and I believe whole-heartedly that every person, given they’re not an idiot, should be able to pursue whatever lifestyle they want. Emphasis on that “not an idiot” part — idiots shouldn’t be doing a lot of things. The more I’m exposed to misogyny, the more I hate it, but I don’t think that every guy who says “women are crazy” is any more a misogynist than every woman who says “men are idiots” is a misandrist. It’s okay to be frustrated by our differences, but I’d never hate an entire gender for them (just all the guys I met in college, plus like two I’ve met postgrad). Feminists, I thought, did that. I believe in equality and I believe in freedom. I believe in giving all people the opportunity to work toward the same goals. To believe in those things fully, as I do, means that, by definition, I succumb to the dreaded F word: feminism.
Two women, Amy Jo Clark and Miriam Weaver, published an article that went viral as a part of their series “Chicks on the Right” earlier this week. In it, they explain that it is absolutely possible to be a conservative woman who loves her husband, but identifies as a feminist…minus the negative connotation. “The word ‘feminist’ has been hijacked by liberals,” they wrote, “and we’re taking it back.” They claim that relying on the government to help them along is no different from relying on a man to provide for them. Women — people — need to work to achieve their own goals and independence, they say.
We’re sick of liberal feminists who screech “WAR ON WOMEN!” the second they’re faced with challenges — or with having to pay for their own birth control. It’s laughable when they depend on a cradle-to-grave government to take care of their every want (like guilt-free abortions and taxpayer-funded contraception), and then dress up in vagina costumes on Capitol Hill hollering for the government to keep its hands off their “lady parts.”
They can’t have it both ways.
They either need to own up to needing a Sugar Daddy (whether he is in the form of a mate or a taxpayer) or woman-up and take care of themselves. Liberal “feminists” are proving what conservative feminists like us have known forever: They’re not feminists at all.
They go on to explain that every woman has every right to choose her own path, but she can’t and shouldn’t place blame on others, on the government, on men when things don’t go her way. Success, they say, is something that only you can attain for yourself. If you act helpless, if you play the victim, “you’re not a feminist — you’re just pathetic.” They battle the accusation that conservative women are the ones who aim to set women back, but they refute the claim with these powerful words: “We know any government (or man) powerful enough to give us something is powerful enough to take it away.” To ask for something, to demand it of someone, to rely on anyone but yourself is to sacrifice your power to them. That’s something important to remember, no matter who you are.
The article naturally stirred up some controversy. Publications such as Jezebel seemed to be outraged that feminism could exist outside the confines of the liberal agenda they adhere to. I was surprised, myself, that feminism could exist in a way that didn’t make me feel like a hateful banshee when I found myself nodding in agreement. Read the full text here if you’d like to know more, but I’ll close the same way they did:
“Now if someone would please pass [me my] stilettos. [I’ve] got to get back to work.”
[via Indy Star]
Image via Indy Star