Every day, I wake up and get a little sad when I look in the mirror and see that I’m not Chrissy Teigen. Seriously, that girl has it all. She’s hilarious on Twitter, she’s got that body, and she gets to listen to John Legend sing “All Of Me” in the shower. Live. While she’s in there with him soaping up his buns. Or at least that’s what I imagine they do all day every day while I sit in their living room sipping on a mojito (PS: If you guys are reading this, please adopt me).
Now you can add to the list that she’s a better pitcher than Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, because on Tuesday at the Los Angeles Dodgers game, she threw out a pretty fantastic first pitch. It made me hate her a little bit more for being perfection in human form.
Look at that. That was certainly better than I can throw, and I pride myself on having the upper body of a young Tom Selleck. Also, she tweeted this while at the game:
Crap I’m pretty drunk
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) August 5, 2014
So she was probably drunk when she threw that pitch, and it was right down the middle. She can do something that some of us could never even do while stone cold sober. And look at her on the pitcher’s mound shaking her booty. Adorable. I hate her so much. She’s perfect. I die. Also, one more thing that’ll make you hate her. On Tuesday, she wore a jersey with the number 40 on it and the name “Nugz” on the back. Before you think that’s some kind of reference to drugs, here’s an explanation from Dodgers reporter Michael Lananna, confirmed (via retweet) by Teigen:
Christine Teigen (@chrissyteigen) is here, wearing jersey 40 w/ the name “Nugz” because “40 Nugz” is her favorite drunken food at McDonald’s — Michael Lananna (@mlananna) August 6, 2014
Forty fucking McNuggets and she gets to keep that body? I ate half a bagel for lunch and half a bagel for dinner and I have the body of a young Tom Selleck.
Life isn’t fair. I’m gonna go eat another bagel. Chrissy Teigen, you are truly the most flawless human being on Earth.
[via NY Post]
Image via Instagram
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Stefon
New York's Hottest Club is wherever I am. Haters to the front, hunky Sailors to the back. Bow down betches. Follow this bitch on Twitter @StefonTSM StefonTSM@iCloud.com
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