Social media, in a way, is like Greek Week. It’s a place where we can all come together to show off how attractive we are–wait, that’s not right. What I meant to say is that it’s a place where we can all come together to bond and connect in some fashion. Or, at least that’s how some people decide to use social media. I, on the other hand, spend most of my time posting inside jokes about last night’s mistakes on my sisters’ walls or Facebook stalking the hot trainer from my gym. To each her own. My point is, we typically use social media to get in touch with people. However, we all have those select few we avoid harder than Juan Pablo avoided saying “I love you” to Nikki Ferrel (what an asshole). There are only so many more guys I accidentally swiped right on Tinder that I can stand “running” into. Luckily for those of us who have terrible track records with unwanted encounters, there is now a new app for the iPhone called Cloak that can help us avoid contact with those people we would rather not see in person–ever.
The app can collect geographical information by searching for your friends and followers through Foursquare and Instagram. By determining their location this way, Cloak can let you know who is close to you by your request. Not only will the app let you know the location of your friends and followers, but their photo will also show up on the map relative to your location. So, say you see your on-again-off-again boyfriend’s face on the map and you would rather not deal with him in public–at least not until you’ve had two full glasses of wine. All you have to do to avoid him is tap his face on the map. By doing this, you “flag” him and can completely bypass seeing him in person until you’re ready. The app will alert you whenever he is near. All I’m saying is, why is this just now a thing? It’s brilliant. And we can thank Chris Baker.
That’s right. He’s the same Chris Baker who created that ridiculously hilarious app that allowed people to replace their friend’s baby pictures on social media with cat pictures. This was a lifesaver for those of us who come from towns, which basically provided most of the talent for MTV’s “Teen Mom.” Babies < Cats. He’s a visionary, clearly, and the undeniable future success of Cloak is sure to prove so.
Cloak’s basic function is exactly what most of us look for in an app used to avoid people. It’s uncomplicated, straightforward, and user friendly. Plus it doesn’t judge you like the grocery store employees do when they see you hiding by the Greek yogurt and orange juice. Most importantly, we can all give up playing Where’s Waldo when we think we see that person we’re trying to avoid in a crowd of people. Now, we can consult Cloak instead. It’s as simple as that. Although Cloak is not the first of it’s kind, the website Avoid Humans has a similar function–it’s a handy app a lot of us are looking forward to downloading ASAP. With Cloak, going incognito will literally be as easy as recruiting a legacy.
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