For anyone who spent the summer at home with their families, patience — that of you and your parents — is probably stretched thin. While being at home is a luxury after nine months at school, it comes along with some issues. You’re not used to living under Mom and Dad’s watchful eye, and they aren’t used to having you drain their supply of Diet Coke in under 36 hours. Spending three solid months together can make it easy for you to rub them the wrong way and visa versa. In most houses, you bitch it out and it’s done. But if you’re part of the Johnson family from Chelmsford, England, you settle things a bit differently.
15-year-old Nicola was summoned by her parents via a text that read, “We need to have a very serious chat downstairs.” Instead of yelling at her for being lazy or eating the last of the chips and salsa, her mother, Marianne, handed her a note entitled “Things You Have Done Wrong This Week” with a list of infractions and a closing paragraph that states “This is only a short list of the things you do to me and your dad, we have reached the end of our tether now and from now on we are not doing anything for you ever again. We hope you learn your lesson.”
So what exactly did Nicola do to warrant her parents’ wrath? Let’s see what they said:
Left TWO bowls in the lounge over the past two days.
I’m going to need you to explain to me what the “lounge” is. Is that like the living room? Kind of gross, but does exactly necessitate family banishment.
Left a cup in your room for more than three days.
OH MY GOD, THE WORLD MIGHT END! Get a grip here, Marianne.
Eaten junk for the past six weeks.
Only letter-worthy if she didn’t gain any weight. If that’s the case, then, yes, Nicola is a total bitch and should be punished.
Not making your bed in the morning.
I make my bed even when I stay in hotels because I’m a psycho neat freak. But unless Nicola’s bed is in the middle of the living room, I don’t get why Mom and Dad give a crap.
Always on your phone.
Welcome to 2016, Marianne and Bob. We have these things here called smartphones and people look at them all. of. the. damn. time. Let’s just accept it and move on.
Shouting at the dogs when they don’t pose for your photos that you constantly take.
Then maybe they shouldn’t move when you try to take pictures for the ‘gram. Ever think of that, dogs?
Making a tea for yourself and not offering me or your dad one, when we do everything for you.
You are capable of making your own tea, Mom.
Greeting the dogs with a better welcome than me or your dad after coming back from your holiday we paid for.
And the problem is…?
Not washing up your dirty dishes when all you do is eat.
Okay, Mom and Dad, this is kind of your fault. I mean, how do you not have a dishwasher? Let’s get with the times here, ok?
Thankfully, for both Nicola and her parents, school starts soon. But given that she’s only 15, I expect that she’s in a few more letters from Marianne and Bob before she leaves for college..
[via The Daily Mail]
Image via Shutterstock
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, and documenting her love of all things cheese related. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
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