Slating season is upon us, and for many chapters it is quite literally an all-day affair. We start sometime in the early afternoon and consider ourselves #blessed if we manage to pick a new exec board before midnight. I hate slating, but it is the one thing I will never miss, regardless of its time consumption or overall exhaustion, because you are picking the girls that will define and lead your chapter for the next year. If you can’t see the significance of that, then you need to re-evaluate your priorities.
The reason it takes forever is the exhaustive pro-con-pro process on every girl. The rules are clear; no stories and no overtly bitchy comments. This is where our powers of passive aggression and manipulation kick in. For every one word or short phrase pro or con, there is a whole world of sub-text just waiting to be read by your fellow sisters. I’m about to decode that subtext for you.
Pros
Good representation of the chapter
On the outside, this seems like a pretty harmless pro. What could possibly be the underlying meaning behind ‘good representation of the chapter’ be? Oh how naïve you all can be. This is a pro typically used for the president, standards chair, pledge mom, or panhel delegate. Why, you might ask? Well the subtext behind this is the person running is classically pretty; she’s a girl you want to show off, whether it is to PNMs during recruitment or to the rest of Greek Life during various meetings and leadership events.
Decision-maker
This is a nicer way of saying “assertive.” Typically, the word assertive has bad connotations, almost synonymous with bitchy. While I disagree with that and would prefer exec members that are assertive, people tend to think that word is too harsh. Swap it in for “decision-maker” and you have a more toned down version of the same word, except people aren’t put off by it. This is a good pro for president or standards.
Non-judgmental
This is a PC way of saying that this bitch has seen some shit. The girl you use this for is not going to be phased if you get a little too hands-y with your date at a function or if you like to partake in a little nose candy now and then. This pro is the equivalent of saying “She knows when someone is just messing around and when they need to be reined it. She’s not looking to fuck people over for no reason.” Use this pro for your standards chair, obviously, as well as anyone who sits on your own standards committee.
Nice
Dear gawd, if anyone throws out this pro at any point in time during slating, DO NOT ELECT THIS GIRL FOR A POSITION. First of all, “nice” is the most non-descriptive word out there. If someone is up for a position and the only thing you can think to say about them is that they are ‘nice’, you’re basically saying that the girl is a polite, non-threatening, unmemorable doormat. Anyone described this way during slating is going to have zero leadership skills and is not someone who should be on exec. Avoid this pro at all costs, but take note if anyone else uses it.
Cons
Polarizing
This girl is a bitch, through and through. Obviously, you can’t outright call someone a cunt during slating, but when you throw “polarizing” out there, it’s heard loud and clear. Word of advice, don’t use this word too frequently or else it loses its kick. Every year I’ve gone through slating, there has always been one or two girls running who would be entirely toxic in any executive position. These girls are verifiable fun-suckers and will run your chapter into the ground. Every year, my friends and I have thrown this con, as well as a few choice others out, and every year, none of those girls have made it onto exec. Make of that what you will.
Busy
While some girls might actually use “busy” in regards to the girl not having the time to dedicate to the position, most don’t. For most girls, busy is just a cop-out. They have a million and one reasons why this girl shouldn’t be slated, but either they are too personal or they don’t want to come off as mean, so they say she’s busy and hope enough people agree and vote for someone else.
Better suited for a different position/chair
Similar to “busy” this description is a way out. Throw this out if you see a girl you don’t want elected to a position start to pick up some steam, and then evaluate which lesser position to put her in. Slating is politics, even if you’re all supposed to be unbiased or not campaign. There are always those few girls who you know are going to end up on exec, even if you don’t want them too. For those girls, try to minimize their influence by using this con for roles where they have too much authority and then pro the shit out of them for lesser positions. It makes it seem like you don’t have a grudge against the girl, but you just genuinely think she would be ‘better suited for a different position.’
Better behind the scenes
Similar to how “good face for the chapter” meant someone was pretty, this is a nice way of saying they aren’t that attractive. It’s almost definitely wrong, but you can’t have a homely looking girl being recruitment chair, president, or pledge mom. These are some of the most visible positions, both in regards to other Greek organizations and PNMs. Anyone that tells you looks don’t matter, especially for exec positions, lives in la-la land; they shouldn’t matter, but they 110% do..
Nice Move212
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ChampagneShowers
Champagne Showers is a contributing writer for TSM. She is your typical Northern Diva. If curse words, sexual content, and drug use offend you, then bless your heart. CS will continue living the life you're too scared to live. email her at: champagne_showers@outlook.com
@ChampShowersTSM
