Guys, I have to tell you about something. Something that I carry, and struggle with on a daily basis: I have a full-time hard on for all things Harry Potter related. I don’t want your help. I want your acceptance.
Having a Harry Potter obsession is like having a child: You have to feed it, you have to revere it, and it basically takes over your entire life. For example, I spend most of my time trying to dig up deleted scenes online and arguing with my roommates over the life-size Draco Malfoy poster they won’t let me hang in the living room. It’s not just a hobby. It’s a way of life.
But there’s good news for those of you who share this obsession. The magical gods have smiled down on us losers and presented us with a gift of which we are not worthy: A Harry Potter themed bar. That’s right. Now you can get shitfaced in the land of wizardry while singing your favorite Hogwarts tunes and drinking options like “Befuddlement Brew,” “The Shacklebolt,” and “Ludo’s Debt.”
The week-old bar is located in Toronto, which I realize is unfortunate, but I had plans to leave the country until this whole Donald Trump situation blew over anyway. The space is apparently packed with all the paraphernalia and decor your nerdy heart desires, and rumor has it that brunch service is expected to begin soon. But the best part, by far, is that the bar is said to host Harry Potter trivia nights. It’s like the mothership is calling me.
I’ve officially decided what I want for my next birthday: a party bus for my Potterhead friends (all two of them) and me to take to Canada. It would be a literal dream come true to get hammered in a room surrounded by people who won’t judge me for owning deathly hallows earrings and keeping Harry’s wanted poster over my bed despite the fact that I’m pretty sure it’s the reason I’m not getting laid. I’ll let you all know when my petition for the owners to add butterbeer to the menu is ready for signatures. .