Eating Turkey Sandwiches Makes You Normal, So Carb It Up

I love a good sandwich, but I don’t love a good sandwich “joke.” Why is that even a thing? Who thought that telling his girlfriend to “get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, sugar tits” would get him anything other than six ways of sleeping on the couch? Whatever. Some people are idiots, we know this. Moving on.

The great thing about sandwiches is that they’re so freaking easy, so freaking diverse, and so. freaking. wonderful. Meat, cheese, and BREAD? Uh, duh. Gimme dat. Basically, I love sandwiches. And I love making them…for myself. Obviously, because this is America and we love everything that makes us fat, I’m not alone in my love for this deliciously simple meal. It also turns out that I’m not alone in my most favorite sandwich of all time: turkey. The people love the turkey. It was almost our national bird, after all.

Datassential, a company that I guess figures out data full-time (?), just released a study on America’s favorite sandwich. Originally, I came across the findings on Yahoo! and the writer was all like, “Turkey? OMG, turkey?! Why turkey? Who likes turkey??!?!?” Kidding. That was completely made up, but she was surprised that it was turkey and not the sloppy joe or the chicken sandwich or some other shit like that.

But you know what? Americans are simple. We have simple wants and simple needs–and we like turkey. In case you’re some sort of heathen (read: traitor) the other favorites can be found below..