People love spring fashion, because spring fashion is easy. You have to physically try to look like the disaster you are in a sundress (though, trust me, it’s not impossible), so getting ready is a breeze. You don’t have to worry about matching, or accessories, because a classic A-line does all the work for you. Spring fashion is bright and happy after the long cold winter, during which you alternated between the LBD with a fleece combo and your pajamas, because you only left your house to go to the bars.
I understand the appeal of spring fashion, I do. I even understand the appeal of summer fashion (i.e. a bikini, and that’s it) if you don’t hate everything about your body, but I don’t know what that’s like. However, I firmly believe that fall fashion is the best fashion. Here are eight reasons why.
1. Boots
They’re the most expensive shoes you buy most years. In fact, the only reason you continue to work your summer job year after year is to buy a new pair, but they’re worth it. The feeling you get when you slip on a new pair of boots is unrivaled by most feelings. They make even the most boring “I forgot all my fucks at home this morning” outfits cute, and you don’t have to worry if you don’t have a fresh pedicure. Riding boots, slouchy boots, fringy boots, combat boots, ankle boots, high boots, low boots, leather boots, furry boots, suede boots, boots, boots, boots, boots, boots. But not UGGs. UGG boots are not a reason to be excited for fall fashion.
2. Hot Coffee
Don’t deny that a little part of you grabs a coffee, before going to class anywhere, because you think it completes your look, and a hot coffee is infinitely cuter than an iced coffee. Plus, pumpkin spice is back, and that’s something to smile about.
3. Dark Clothes
Between Memorial Day and Labor Day, I count down the minutes until I can wear black again. Dark clothing is flattering (see also: slimming) and it looks good on everyone. Floral prints are fun, but any article of clothing looks a little snazzier if it’s darker. A two foot section of your closet is probably taken up by black dresses, and it’s about time you finally put them to use again.
4. Baggy Clothing
Not only are big slouchy shirts and oversized sweaters super comfortable, but they mean that you can eat more. Just kidding. We don’t eat. It’s nice to know, though, that something baggy is always appropriate, and that you can wear something two sizes too big without looking like you woke up in the bed of someone who’s name is Andrew, or Anthony, or something like that.
5. Layers
Ogres are like onions, and cakes, and parfaits, and fall fashion. They all have layers, and have you ever met a person, you say, “Let’s get some parfait,” they say, “Hell no, I don’t like no parfait?” Parfaits are delicious! Everybody likes parfaits. And cardigans. And blazers. And leather jackets — especially leather jackets. This is science, people. Layers. We love ‘em.
6. Accessories
All summer long, our accessorizing is pretty limited to earrings and shades. Occasionally, we can throw in a necklace or belt, but with bright, bold patterns, there’s often some run-ins with clashing. Fall fashion pieces are accessories in themselves — scarves, tights, vests (depending on the year), and patterned leggings make your ensemble more exciting. They say to the world “I know how to put myself together, even when my outfit requires more than one article of clothing.” I know what you’re all thinking, and to answer your questions: yes, I just abbreviated ensemble. Do something about it.
7. Yoga Pants
I have a pretty big hatred for the whole “norts and a t-shirt” thing, because I feel like there’s really no excuse to look like you’re homeless the weather’s warm enough for shorts. The cold weather alternative, however, is glorious. Yoga pants and leggings just make for a season-long good butt day. Even if you’re scrubby, you look cute. I have a hunch that the boys don’t hate it either.
8. You Don’t Have To Shave Your Legs Every Day
If you’re one of those girls who shaves her legs perfectly every day, you’re a liar. Shaving my legs is the bane of my existence. Somebody upstairs really fucked me over on the whole “knees” thing, and why, WHY do the hairs on your thighs grow up in the front, and down in the back, and to one side on the inside, and the other side on the outside? It’s exhausting. I think I only had a perfect shave one time in my life — on my first date to the movies in 9th grade, at which I wore jeans, and got a goodbye kiss. After that, I decided it probably didn’t matter as much as I thought. While I’m not really big on pants (leggings notwithstanding), your legs are still covered up in the fall, even if it’s just by tights. That alone, makes fall worth it.
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
@VeronicaRuckh
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