I really hate to be the one to tell you this, but Eva Mendes is allegedly pregnant with Ryan Gosling’s baby. That’s right. Your boyfriend has taken another lover and given her the gift of half of his beautiful DNA. I’m talking to myself, by the way.
There isn’t a ton of information on this situation, as the two have not yet spoken about the rumors. The news is said to be confirmed by Us Weekly, and all the information we have comes from the 1,000 links stemming from my Google search of “Why is Eva Mendes ruining my life by having Ryan Gosling’s baby?” Frankly, I’m not sure what I ever did to her to deserve this.
If sources are right, Eva is already seven months along, which gives us two months to get ready for the birth. The two have been dating for three years, after acting together in “The Place Beyond The Pines.” A source claims, “Eva is thrilled. She’s been ready for motherhood for a while now, and to be sharing this experience with Ryan is a dream come true for her.” Yeah, Eva and every other heterosexual girl in existence.
I am torn on the situation, and I’m not really sure how to feel right now. On one hand, I’m devastated. Ryan has given me his word that we would live a very happy life together in several of my sex dreams, and let me tell you, I take promises very seriously. On the other hand, I’m excited to see the child, because it pretty much won the genetic lottery. There aren’t two better looking people in the world, and their spawn could potentially introduce us to a new race of exclusively really, really good looking people.
There’s nothing left for us to do but either wait for the birth or wait for Ryan or Eva to dispel the rumors. Until either happens, I’ll be looking at pictures of tacos on the Internet and pondering my worth as a human being.
[via Hollywood Life]
Image via Just Jared
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Lucky Jo
Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.
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