Every Mix Of Emotions You Have Your First Summer Away From Home


Ever since you first started school, no matter how much you pretended to like it, you couldn’t wait for summer. Summer wasn’t just a season, it was a feeling. A feeling of joy and relief. As soon as that last bell rang, you were freed from all responsibilities. You worked hard that year, you learned your times tables, and you were ready for a break. The older you got, the more exciting summer became. You could stay up and sleep in with no repercussion. You could meet your friends at the pool. You could spend entire days with your friends. Eventually, you could drive yourself wherever you wanted. You could park in an empty parking lot and suck face with the “love of your life” until your face got chapped. Your young world was your oyster. Even when you went off to college, and you tearfully said goodbye to the people and places you’ve spent your lives with, you knew they would always be there. Until they weren’t.

Your first summer away from home is a game changer. You’re used to being away during every other season, but summer is closely linked to your family, your OGs, and your home. Maybe you are taking a summer session, working an internship that is far away, studying abroad (lucky bitch), or you graduated and accepted a job that isn’t near your hometown. We act like the end of high school is when it is time for us to move on, but it’s now. Even if you stayed home, your friends are going through the same changes. Not all of you would be there. What you used to look forward to is now something you can only look back on. But to fill you in ahead of time, these will be some of the things you will miss out on:

  • Weird sunburns.
  • Working that shitty job that you always complain about.
  • Nannying those little spawns of Satan.
  • Your parents constantly asking you about your plans for the future.
  • Running into your ex-teacher at a bar.
  • Being hit on by your ex-teacher at a bar.
  • High school-style parties where everyone just stands around and drinks for the sake of not drinking at home alone.
  • Sneaking out of your parents’ house to answer booty calls.
  • Spending all day waiting around until nighttime, the only time your friends get together.

It’s hard to mourn the loss of something so concrete as summer. It didn’t matter what happened during the school year, you always knew that you could have summer to rely on. But now, it’s being pulled out from under you. The unknown is scary, but not as scaring as realizing that you may never have a summer again. Unless you become a teacher (godspeed), there are very few professions that have consistent breaks.

You wish you knew last summer was really your last. There are so many things you would have savored. But, would you really? Living with the impending doom over your head would add a twinge of sadness to every day. Your last visit to Custard Hut. Your last time driving to the beach. Your last time coming home wasted and trying not to wake up your parents. All happiness would be clouded with the inevitable sadness.

As soon as you accept your loss of summer, you can focus on everything you will gain. You’ll meet new people and have new experiences. Not to mention all the money you’ll make (that will go straight to paying off loans, but that’s not the point). This surreal moment of drastic change will feel like the world is taking a mondo duke on your chest. But at the end of the summer, you will have grown into a new and improved version of yourself. A paler version, but an improved version nonetheless.

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Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to or by smoke signal.

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