Everyone Is Pirating “50 Shades Of Grey” So They Don’t Have To Be Seen Watching It In The Theaters

Everyone Is Pirating "50 Shades Of Grey" So They Don't Have To Be Seen Watching It In The Theaters

As you probably know, 50 Shades Of Grey hit theaters a little over a week ago, and just like Twilight before it, it’s the newest book-to-film adaptation that everyone loves to hate and hates to admit they love. If you’re anything like me, you made fun of the book to friends while pretending you didn’t read the entire trilogy in four days…twice. You watched the trailer with your boyfriend to laugh at it, and then watched it ten more times in secret. You laugh when people ask if you’re going to see it, but in all honesty, you think it might kill you to wait until it comes out on demand to stream it privately during a “me” night with a bubble bath and a bottle glass of wine. You’re not alone. Although 50 Shades is making record amounts of cash, it’s also being streamed illegally by pretty much everyone everywhere.

According to a report issued by AdAge, the film had been downloaded illegally over 453,000 times in its first week alone, and that number is still growing. I have to say, I’m impressed. Almost half a million people would rather run the risk of crashing their MacBook Pros with a deadly virus than be seen viewing 50 Shades in public. I’m not sure I can blame them. After all, do I really want to spend two hours in a room full of a hundred other women getting all hot and bothered before I’m released back into society like nothing happened? Do I pretend that the couples in the row behind me aren’t getting handsy, and what if I end up next to a group of middle-aged women who shriek every time Christian appears shirtless on screen? No matter how I look at it, seeing 50 Shades in public seems like a lose-lose situation for me. Now I guess I’ll spend every day until the movie is available on Amazon Instant debating whether or not it would be worth it to explain to the guys at the genius bar that my computer isn’t working anymore because I accidentally downloaded tons of orgy porn while looking for the secret link to watch 50 Shades.

[via Fortune]

Image via YouTube

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RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at [email protected]

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