Facebook Is The Crocs Of Social Media

FB sucks

Let me start off by saying, I don’t hate Facebook. Facebook was the OG, the first social media I was allowed to have (my parents hated Myspace, so this was the next best thing at age 12). In fact, when I registered for Facebook I was too young and had to use my older sister’s birthday in order to make my account. Facebook was the best.

But just like everything else in life, Facebook had its prime. The peak of Facebook was about 2011 or 2012. The time is not now.

The only people I know who avidly use Facebook are my mom to check up on what everyone from high school is doing and random other adults who just post pictures of their kids and everyone’s obligated to comment on “what a beautiful family!” they have.

What do people like about crocs? Supposedly they’re comfortable. In a way, Facebook is comfortable. It’s probably the first (or one of) the first sites you had and you feel comfortable keeping in touch with family. But also like crocs, Facebook is ugly. It’s a bunch of political statuses, people getting into online arguments and a bunch of shit that I just really, really don’t care about. Do I care that my second cousin’s sister’s boyfriend got a pet goldfish? Of course not.

People use Facebook to catch up with their high school friends. Well apparently adults do. I don’t need a website to catch up with my friends. If we were good enough friends in high school, I can just text you. Or even if we weren’t I can follow your Instagram posts on how much fun you are having or I can watch your excessively drunk Snapchat stories of you drunk every Friday night at the same bar you go to every weekend.

The other thing about Facebook is that I look like a dick if I don’t accept your friend request. If it’s someone I don’t like, I’d consider not accepting it, but not accepting it is just too awkward when the kid whose request you denied is your biology lab partner. I actually can’t remember the last time I denied a request of someone I knew. However, I do know that if you are some random middle aged man with no mutual friends that I will deny your request as soon as you send it.

Also, people keep poking me on Facebook. This shit has got to go. There’s nothing more awkward than receiving a notification that some random kid from your high school has poked you on Facebook. Why, my friends, just why?

I just don’t see a purpose for Facebook anymore. If I want to post a cool picture (read: picture that I think is cute but has been done a million times, i.e. me laying on a pizza floatie) I can just post it on the ‘gram. If I want to post a picture that makes me look ~artsy~ I’ll use VSCO. And if I wanna bitch about how hard college is and how close I am to dropping out, I’ll just let the Twitter world deal with my bitching.

But Facebook is kinda dead. Sure you love it and you may not ever let go, but it’s past its prime. Let it go people, it’s for the best.

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