Fail Friday: It’s Recruitment, Not Rush

Ten real TSM submissions and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

When you’re going to sleep and the guy you’re texting says, “Goodnight my republican srat star.” TSM

That is the unsexiest thing I’ve ever heard.

Scissoring. TSM
–New York

Let’s all add “finding a girl to have that wild experimental lesbian college experience with” to the top of the list of wrong reasons to go through recruitment.

Shotgun shitting in the frat castle bathroom and then blaming it on the boys. TSM.

I’m not familiar with “shotgun shitting,” but please stop doing it.

Becoming friends with the girl my ex cheated on me with so we can make his life a living hell. TSM.

The only time in history that this was successful (read: one girl did not get back together with him and make the other feel like a dumbass), was in John Tucker Must Die. At the end of which, John Tucker realized he didn’t even have to be in a relationship to have everyone S his D. One small step for man, one giant mindfuck for womankind.

Being so psycho about my ex-boyfriend that his new girlfriend gets a no contact order. TSM.

Restraining orders are so fetch.

Got knocked up, its not all bad though, at least me and the girls now have fresh milk and cottage cheese everyday. TSM.

There are fraternity basements with pledges who have had to do hard, physical labor and then been locked inside of them for three days without a shower that are less disgusting than what you’ve just said.

New showerheads were installed at the sratcastle and everyone mysteeeeriously taking a lot longer to get ready. TSM.

Wisconsin brings new meaning to the term “mutual masturbation.”

Having sex in the ocean and waving to the families on the shore. TSM

Ocean City really is fun for the whole family.

Finding out your boyfriend cheated on you, and then feeding chocolate to his dog, and filming him crying when it dies. Hahahah fuck you Tommy!!!!!!!!!!! TSM.

I’m sorry about your dog, Tommy. And I am, in fact, referring to your girlfriend.

Trying to actually draw blood while you bite his neck. That’s what he gets for being Team Edward. Real men don’t glitter they growl. TSM.

Real men aren’t mythical creatures.

I hope you were hazed

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