Columns

Fail Friday: Old Meat

Ten real TSM submissions and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Wearing pearls to the bars. TSM.
-Colorado

And wearing hooker heels to church.

I learned early on that guys want to take me to the bone zone, and so i mastered the art of flirting and teasing. Instead of applying myself and studying, I plan on earning my associate’s in cock guzzling and then motoring through life based on my looks. TSM.
-Michigan

You can get a degree in cock guzzling now? Learn something new every day.

In Wyoming, we may not have the best-looking or the most wealthy girls, but we have sisterhood. TSM.
-Wyoming

Where I’m from, we have all three.

The older the meat, the better the treat. TSM.
-Michigan

Define “treat.” If treat means the presents you get from an older guy with a better job and more money, then I’d agree. If treat means the sweet nectar of his loins, catapulted from a clammy, wrinkly ballsack, then you, my dear, are mistaken.

Today a girl in another sorority handed me a flyer inviting me to their recruitment event. I’m a senior and have been in my sorority for four years. Fail.
-Virginia

What’s it like to go four years unnoticed?

Getting de-littled, but adopted by the whole house. TSM
-California

Orphaned littles give me the heeby jeebies.

Buying the year’s worth of Formal dresses because if you have them you know you’ll get asked. TSM.
-Utah

You won’t.

Google docs. TSM.
-California

Breathing. TSM.

Kiss and tell. NS. Kiss and yell. TSM.
-Texas

Probably part of the reason he didn’t call you back.

Out of all the jobs I’ve done, I’m most proud of the blow. TSM.
-Texas

Having a job. NS.

Why.

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