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Fail Friday: Porch Problems

Ten real TSM submissions that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Strategically dating my rush crush’s brother. TSM
–Oklahoma

Oh, weird. Being a blatant creep doesn’t normally work for us during recruitment.

Wearing my letters to buy the morning after pill & to visit a porn shop. Definitely top house. TSM
–Illinois

Top house? Really? Sounds like you’re used to being under someone.

Never having to lie during a game of ‘Never have I ever’. TSM
–Florida

Call this party animal up next time you’re looking to…sit on your couch silently sobbing as you watch Days of our Lives.

Best friends never tell each other they are best friends, they just know. TSM
–Missouri

My best friends and I obnoxiously over-proclaim our best friendship every day. Did your boyfriend tell you you should “just know” that he loves you too?

Remembering to cut the tags off before you actually go out. TSM
–Ohio

Remembering to wipe after you pee. TSM.

Purposefully drunk walking down the blog to vom on your rival sororities porch. TSM.
–Alabama

That’s a good way to show them who is classier. Srat on.

Disowning my little when she started dating a GDI. TSM.
–Connecticut

Big/Little hate is NEVER going to be a TSM. I will love my Little even if she dates the spawn of Snooki and Carrot Top. I will haze her like a man and beg her to reconsider, but I will still love her.

Snuggling wiffff my sorority sister and our stuffed animals. TSM.
–Michigan

Go drown yourself in a bowl of cereal before you get the idea in your head that it’s ok to speak again.

Working out next to “Pauly D” in Fort Lauderdale and asking him what it’s like to be so unclassy.
–Florida

No you didn’t.

Silent masturbating on the sleeping porch. TSM.
–Washington State

Fuck yourself. (Get it?)

Love,
TSM Intern

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