Ten TSM submissions and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.
Staying up past 1 am crafting. On a Tuesday. TSM.
–Rhode Island
PASSED 1 AM ON A TUESDAY?!?!?!? You badass, you.
Laying spread eagle on my bed while snapping a picture of my snatch. The caption reads, “this is my shredded pancake pussy, enjoy” TSM.
–Michigan
Breakfast of champions?
I’m going to the hole in the wall bar in my hometown, and maybe if i’m lucky i will blow a 45 year old degenerate in the stalls of the mens room. TSM.
–Tennessee
You should be so lucky.
My chronic UTI has turned into Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. TSM.
–Michigan
That’s unfortunate. I hope your condition can be remedied.
For the amount of time it takes me to make it look like I showered, I might as well have just showered. TSM.
–Florida
Yes, and then you’d smell like you showered too.
My new boyfriend is a fellon. But it’s just for a DUI so he has the bad boy rep, but it doesn’t really count. TSM.
–Texas
Best of both worlds.
My mom had four kids from three dads, but my dad was the richest and frattiest compared to those other GDI dads. TSM.
–Arizona
Your mom sounds like a class act.
Three-months’ salary for an engagement ring? Looks like I’m looking at some four figure finger bling! .5 Carats! Be jealous!
–Alabama
I guess it’s the thought that counts. Apparently he doesn’t think much of you.
Your boy has to do deep breathing exercises and go to therapy to deal with your level of crazy. TSM.
–North Dakota
Perhaps, sweetie, you should be the one in therapy.
“Wait…you’ve hung out for a week and a half and you still haven’t hooked up with him?” TSM.
–Maryland
Your friends either have low expectations of you, or of themselves.