Columns

Fail Friday the 13th…It really is unlucky

Ten real submissions that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

I only read TSM’s when I’m in the kitchen waiting on my cupcakes to get out of the oven. TSM.
-Missouri

Well that goes without saying…try-hard.

My fratdaddy is addicted to Gossip Girl because of me. TSM.
-Illinois

Does he also wear a lot of pink? Occasionally a little cover-up? Maybe complains when he feels bloated?

I only use Louis Vuitton condoms. TSM.
-Texas

I prefer Chanel.

PIKEboy mansion tonight. The only night of the semester we can wear just lingerie out. oh wait, that’s every weekend:) TSM.
-California

Is it Lilly lingerie? Because if it’s Lilly, it’s a TSM.

Wearing a fashionable skirt as a more fashionable tube top. TSM.
-Nebraska

I have a hard time believing that look is working for you…even in Nebraska.

Pre-gaming recruitment. TSM.
-Arizona

Extending the “she seemed pretty at the time” phenomenon beyond the bedroom. Smart.

Five different guys told me this weekend that I’m the “best sandwich maker ever.” Despite all of the champagne, glitter, and parties, this was the highlight of my weekend. TSM.
-Georgia

If that was the highlight of my weekend, I’d just give up.

I went to the doctor and he thought I was bulimic. I went along because I didn’t want to tell him the real reason I had all those bruises on the back of my throat. TSM.
-Utah

Psychological disorders are wayyy classier than fellatio. I would have done the same thing.

Hooking up with your group partner the fratstar in order for him to do the whole thing… TSM
-Anonymous

Well, since he was a “fratstar” exchanging sexual favors for a homework assignment is ok.

Finding glitter while giving a blowjob. TSM.
-Florida

A happy ending for the both of you!

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