Ten real TSM submissions that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.
Bringing out your own condoms because you know your getting fucked tonight. TSM
-New Jersey
Safety First!
Never having a “serious” boyfriend until I’m ready to get married. TSM.
-Virginia
Oh… Sorry.
Glitter is the STD of crafting. Once it’s on you, it’s not going anywhere. TSM
-Missouri
They should put that on a postcard.
My diet consists of: chalupas, bacon, gelato, and frozen yogurt. And I’m still thinner than you. TSM
-Oregon
Something tells me you’re not.
He’s on a fullride scholorship for golf, joining a fraturnity, and has 5 inch insteams on his shorts? Let the freshmeat begin.
–Florida
And what’s your scholarship for? Winning a spelling bee?
Kitchen. TSM
-Mississippi
I really hope you’re pretty.
If jizz came out sparkly, I would be on an all jizz diet. TSM.
–Florida
The problem with sparkly jizz is that it’s mostly sugar.
Handing down old letters to your little because you gained the sophomore 15 cuz your boyfriend is SUCH A TOTAL JERK! TSM.
-Pennsylvania
Eat until you can’t feel pain… that’ll show him.
I am “the other woman.” TSM.
–Virginia
Congrats. Everyone hates you.
I haven’t wanted Tiffany’s since I was five. Harry Winston is forever! TSM
Boys may give Tiffany’s on the playground, but men give Winston. TSM
Hate to break it to you, but he’s no fratdaddy if he’s giving you Tiffany’s. TSM
Want to know how I know you’re just his slampiece? He’s giving you Tiffany’s, and not Winston. TSM
Never trying too hard. TSM.
–Tennessee
Never trying too hard… Ironic.
Love,
TSM Intern
Nice Move309
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