Ten real TSM submissions that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.
Showering twice as much during the weekends than during the week. TSM.
-Michigan
I’m confused, are you saying you’re bad at math or hygiene?
Lilly at the strip club. TSM.
-Alabama
Totes! What else would a classy sorority girl like you wear to her night job?
FBGM. Fat Bitches Get Munchies. TSM.
-North Carolina
And skinny bitches get bids.
Sorry for NOT being sorry. TSM
-Georgia
Did you just make that up…. You did, didn’t you?
Wearing a real bra and a sports bra to make your boobs look 2 sizes bigger. TSM
-Missouri
Do you yell surprise when your boyfriend takes them off and there are no boobs to be found?
Harry making the Sorting Hat a mutual selection process. TSM.
-Illinois
Unfortunately, TSM will not be extending you an invitation to our next round. But good luck with the rest of recruitment
Favorite Summer Past Time: Creeping on PNMS. TSM
-Texas
Yeah, same. Some people like the beach, but creeping on high school girls is way better.
Not going to class because you spend the entire time looking confused, and wrinkles will not help you earn your MRS degree. TSM.
-Michigan
Stupidity is the new black.
Fix yo hur. You’re in a sorority. Dayum. TSM.
-Texas
Are you trying to kill me?
I’d give the Chili’s guy a hand job for a free meal. TSM.
-Chili’s Grill & Bar
Dear Chili’s Guy, I’m sure you give yourself plenty of hand jobs, and that very few of them result in free meals. I’m not amused.
Love,
TSM Intern