Columns

Fail Friday: You Still Can’t Sit With Us

Getting so deep in a Facebook stalk that you stumble on the TFM staff. TSM.
-Virginia

You’re a fucking creeper and you can’t sit with us..

Your fratdaddy telling you that you’re his girl and then asking how his new slam is in bed. Sorry you couldn’t hide that from me. TSM.
-Louisiana

Yet you still call him your fratdaddy.

Accidentally making a 65 year old mans day because you made out with him at karaoke night at the bar. TSM
-Ohio

I love me some silver fox, myself.

Whenever I’m making a decision, I always ask myself WWLD?… What Would Lilly Do?
-North Carolina

Probably design a new print and then watch Murder She Wrote. She’s like 500.

She’s my sister until all of a sudden she starts “hanging” with my ex bf. Now it might get out that she slept with his favorite teammate. TSM
-Louisiana

Aww, playing practical jokes just like real sisters! That’s love.

Go barefoot, instead of carrying your shoes. TSM.
-Pennsylvania

Wearing shoes you can walk in is also an alternative to this.

Being the first picked slampiece. TSM
-Missouri

And the last picked girlfriend.

Baking him cookies after having sex, at 3 in the morning after a party. TSM.
-Pennsylvania

All I can picture is your boyfriend saying “cookies for breakfast!” and morphing into that little bandit dog salivating about cooooookie crisps.

Wearing Tory Burch flats as shower shoes. TSM.
-Texas

This seems like a good way to both develop a fungal infection and ruin a cute pair of shoes. Kudos.

Showing up to class in the same exact outfit as one of your sisters. TSM.
-Indiana

Well that’s pretty much the most embarrassing thing that can happen in the daytime, outside of perioding in white pants, but that shouldn’t be an issue anyway since it’s past Labor Day.

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