The past few months have been hell for “American Horror Story” fans. As we’ve anxiously awaited the start of our favorite show, we prepared for fall and started working on our Halloween costumes — but one thing was missing: Evan Peters. Well, him and the rest of the cast. But despite our pleadings, we still know very little about the elusive sixth season that’s airing Wednesday. This Wednesday.
Here’s what we know:
• All of the seasons of “American Horror Story” are related.
• And are possibly related to “Scream Queens” as well.
• FX released a shit ton of teasers and pictures about the sixth season.
• But it turns out all but one of the teasers were lies. Fuck us, right?
• And we have no idea what the actual theme is.
So yeah. That’s cool considering the show is set to air in less than 48 hours. And so, to get the last laugh, FX released what I assume is the final teaser, and it makes me want to pull by GD hair out.
And the caption under this thirty-second teasers:
Has it all been a Perfect Illusion? The truth is revealed Wednesday.
The song, “Perfect Illusion” is by Lady Gaga, proving that yes, it appears that she’ll be back. As for the rest of it, I have no idea. Were we being played this whole time, or are these all actually correlated, revealing a theme that has been in front of us the entire time? If we’re capable of finding our neighbor’s, best friend’s, brother’s, cousin’s, roommate, we should have been able to figure out a dumb television show theme. But no. We’re going into this one blind.
Well done, Ryan Murphy. You win. Watch “American Horror Story: ???” this Wednesday at 10 p.m. Eastern on FX because it’s about fucking time..
Image via Youtube