Nothing says “I used to love you until you screwed me over” like naming a cockroach after the guy who broke your heart right before Valentine’s Day.
For only $10, the Bronx Zoo will name a roach after someone you love (or more likely, hate). Apparently they do this every year in an effort to protect the creepy crawly creatures and other animals at the zoo. So you’re actually doing charity work by naming a roach in honor of your slimy ex.
Your love for each other may have died, but his awful memory will live on in this disgusting hissing Madagascar cockroach forever, or at least until the cockroach dies in about five years. Roaches are the perfect gift for someone like your ex, because they live in rotting logs and love to climb things. Just like how your ex lives in filth and loves to crawl all over random bitches when he’s drunk!
Included in the cost of naming a roach after your ex is a digital certificate, which can be emailed directly to him to show him exactly what a piece of shit of he is. You can even leave a message in the email where you can say things like “Just a little something that reminded me of you,” or something equally snarky.
Here’s what the certificate will look like:
If you actually have a boyfriend and want to name a cockroach in his honor as a joke, I recommend going with the $25 option. They’ll still send a digital certificate, but your boo will also receive a box of chocolates made by the Nunu Chocolate company in the mail, so he won’t hate you that much.
It’s for a good cause and it’s pretty funny, so why not? .
[via Jezebel]
Image via Bronx Zoo
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Cristina Montemayor
Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: cristina@grandex.co (not .com).
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