Frat Rages So Hard That The Air’s Alcohol Content Surpassed The Legal Limit

I happen to love frat houses, and not just because they’re consistently jam packed with fraternal testosterone. They’re the perfect place to unwind after a long day, and no one yells at you when you spill your fifth beer on the carpet. They’re like your average sorority girl: pretty and inviting on the outside, a total fucking train wreck on the inside. Once you’ve entered a typical frat house, it’s usually pretty hard to leave. I mean it’s literally difficult to exit the place. The floors are so sticky that they might as well be quicksand.

One fraternity is currently under fire for hosting a party that probably jeopardized the chapter’s status, as well as architectural structure of the house. American University’s Pi Kappa Alpha is facing 110 counts of providing alcohol to minors after throwing a party that was so intense, a preliminary breath test of the ambient air registered at .09. That’s above the legal level of intoxication, and I’m officially pissed that I didn’t get an invite.

Or maybe not. Like all great ragers, local police officers (30 of them, to be exact) broke up the party just in time to find three kegs, 200 people on the first floor, dozens more hiding in bedrooms and closets upstairs, and beer seeping through the ceiling into the basement.

This is some straight “Animal House” shit. Am I the only one dying to know exactly how much booze it takes to not only corrupt the atmosphere, but rack up $275,000 worth of fines? Seems incredibly dangerous, and I want in.

All involved have apparently been referred to AU Student Conduct. May the odds be ever in your favor, you crazy bitches. .