It’s Friday, and you’re totally pumped for the weekend. Friday is going to be the BEST. NIGHT. EVER. You’ve been mentally planning your outfit, makeup, and accessories all week. Now’s your time to shine…or not. Here are a few typical perceptions we have about how the night will go versus what actually happens–maybe you’ll even learn a few lessons.
Expectation: “I just want to take a quick shower before we get ready. It’ll only take, like, five minutes.”
Reality: Forty-five minutes later: “FUCK. Did I go through a time warp?”
The shower is a black hole. It sucks you in with all its steamy goodness. Either skip the shower or plan for extra time.
Expectation: “I think I’ll try that cute hairstyle I saw on Pinterest yesterday. Super chic!”
Reality: “OH MY FUCKING GOD! This is literally impossible. Maybe I’ll just straighten my hair.”
Don’t be fooled into thinking you can easily whip together the oh-so-simple-braid-updo-cascading-curl-combo you saw online. It’s going to take way longer than 10 minutes to put together, and less than 10 minutes to fall apart on the dance floor.
Expectation: “Your makeup always looks so perfect! Can you do mine, pleeeeease?”
Reality: “Oh. Your makeup looks, so, um…good.”
Everyone’s face is different, so the way you put on your makeup is, too. Only trust an experienced sister to give you those perfect cat eyes–don’t let your face turn into a Picasso. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Google it.
Expectation: “Let’s do SHOTS!!!!”
Reality: “Ew. Shit, that was worse than NyQuil.”
You really should have already warmed up with a mixed drink, or at least a glass of wine, while you were getting ready. If you’re already feeling it, your eyes won’t water as much or ruin your makeup. You won’t waste your entire bottle of mixer after your first swig. Then and only then you can do shots…followed by, you guessed it, more shots.
Expectation: “I totally want to hit up that [enter your favorite fraternity] party.”
Reality: “There’s, like, no one here. Let’s go.” OR, “I literally CANNOT EVEN MOVE in here. Let’s go.”
Parties aren’t always what you think they will be. Find out who’s going earlier than you, and use those people as scouts for your possible evening destinations.
Expectation: “This is my jam! Let’s dance on the table!”
Reality: “Oh my God. Are you okay?? Let’s go sit down.”
We’ve all seen it before–that one girl who had a little too much rumble in her jungle. That monkey is about to take a swing from the wrong tree. You tried to catch her, but despite your honest effort, you watched in what felt like slow motion as she fell to her social demise. Maybe you should have just stuck to flip cup.
Expectation: “Okay, ladies, remember to stick together.”
Reality: “Do you see them? I don’t see them. Wait, is that…? Oh hey girl, what are you up to? You’re leaving? Okay I’m coming with you. Buhh-byeeee!”
No matter how hard you try to use the buddy system, it just doesn’t work by the end of the night. Don’t worry, just go with the flow and keep an eye on your friends via text. You’ll probably regroup later anyway while raiding the house kitchen for anything with carbs.
Expectation: 2 a.m.: “SNAPCHAT!!!”
Reality: 10 a.m.: “Oh no. Not again.”
Snapchat is where all late night hookups go to die. Now you will have to hide your face in class for the rest of the semester in hopes that Mr. McDreamy will somehow forget the 20 snaps you sent him last night. Have your friend take your phone. Put black electrical tape over the camera lens. Whatever you have to do, don’t let Snapchat ruin your future slamming.