Genius Girl Creates A “Cooler Contract” And You NEED To Make Your Date Sign It NOW

Cooler Contract

It’s our worst nightmare. After spending an insane amount of time creating a beautiful cooler for a boy, the worst happens. Maybe you two were never really together, maybe things just kind of fizzled out, or maybe he ripped your heart out of your body and broke it into a zillion tiny, painful, pieces. Whatever it was, he was a complete asshole and ruined everything. And now? Now you’re standing in a pile of sadness and pain wondering…

What about the cooler?

Most guys don’t realize that these coolers are not just little side projects that we whip together. They’re not easy to make. They test our sanity. They make us cry in public when Michael’s is out of the proper acrylic paint. They become our children. Literally. It feels like you pushed it out of your vagina, that’s how much you love this cooler. So when you two break up, and he mistreats the cooler, you kind of lose your shit.

It’s been a problem girls have faced for awhile. What happens to the cooler-child when the parental parties split? Sure, in a normal world, he would keep it because it’s a gift. But this isn’t a normal world. This is a crazy universe where girls slave over some plastic to give to a guy who invited her on an event expecting to have sex with her. So yeah. This isn’t a normal world. And when boys fuck with our coolers, normal things don’t happen. Crimes happen.

And so, since this has come up multiple times, one genius girl decided to take matters into her own hands. When Myra Hayden was faced with creating a cooler, she wasn’t going to risk something bad happening to it. She went on to make the ultimate “Cooler Contract” and it will literally save lives (okay maybe not literally, but you know what I mean).


It’s perfect. Like, actually perfect. The only thing wrong with it is the fact that it wasn’t around when I made my first cooler. When I asked Myra what compelled her to actually create this, she told me that The Cooler Connection inspired her.

It was inspired by The Cooler Connection, seeing the stories and some of the damages that have happened made me cringe. I spent a week making these [coolers] and sanded until my fingers bled, I was gonna make sure that bad things didn’t happen to my precious cooler.

And it turns out, she actually got a guy to sign her contract. Talk about goals.

Thank you Myra for finally giving sorority girls peace. Gone are the days of wondering what will happen to the thing you love most, should the worst happen. Now we can live our lives in peace, knowing that if we ever split from our kind-of-sort-of-sometimes-boyfriends, we’ll still have custody of our children. I mean, coolers. Same thing.

[via The Cooler Connection]

Email this to a friend

Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

New Stories

Load More