German Woman Robs Store After Spraying Employees With Her Own Breast Milk

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If this story sounds to you like an example of “life imitating art” or, rather, life imitating the 1998 cult classic film “Baseketball,” well, honestly, you’re not all that far off.

A woman robbed a pharmacy in Hesse, Germany, by distracting the clerk behind the counter in the only way she knew how: by whipping out one of her bazoombas and spraying the employee with a hot stream of breast milk. It is unconfirmed whether or not she asked the guy, “Got milk?” after she sprayed him–or “Haben sie Milch?” as those crazy Germans would say.

She went to the pharmacy and walked up to the counter under the auspice of buying a breast pump, ironically, and when she went to give the clerk money, she blasted him in the face like a Jackson Pollack and started going through the cash register. When the other employees, who hadn’t been affected by the milk-blast, asked her to cover up, BAM! She blasted them and ran out of the store. She’s like a damn super soaker.

She apparently only stole €100 from the cash register, so maybe she was just batshit crazy. According to The Local, officers described the woman’s antics as “almost unbelievable.”

The whole situation was completely disgusting and absolutely insane, but hey, at least it gives us an excuse to dig up this gem:

Haben sie Milch? I think so.

[via The Local]

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New York's Hottest Club is wherever I am. Haters to the front, hunky Sailors to the back. Bow down betches. Follow this bitch on Twitter @StefonTSM

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