Breakups certainly suck, but by far, the worst part of the entire process is when your ex moves on without you. What do you mean he has a new girlfriend?? You stalk her entire social media existence while getting drunk and showing your squad pictures of her to ask if she’s prettier than you (spoiler alert: she’s not). While you totally support other women and are typically pretty feminist in your everyday life, this girl took your boyfriend, and you can’t help it. You hate her. The next time you feel bad for hating your ex’s less-hot version of you, know that at least you didn’t put out a hit on her for $500 and a Juicy bag.
For Monique Earle, however, that seemed like the perfect solution to all of her problems. Her ex, who Monique has a 7-month-old with and is also currently expecting, up and left their family for a new girl on Thanksgiving, which was when Monique decided she’d had enough. She put out a hit on the new girlfriend for $500 and a Juicy bag, which honestly, I think is pretty reasonable.
20 y/o Monique Earle faces two felonies for allegedly trying to hire someone to kill a woman she says ruined her life. Details @WMUR9 at 6. pic.twitter.com/OT8odzCNPW
— Kristen Carosa (@KCarosaWMUR) December 1, 2016
Unfortunately for Monique, her post attracted the attention of an undercover cop, who arrested her after obtaining a detailed note saying how she wanted her ex’s girlfriend killed, which is honestly way nicer than some of what I say in my group texts, so I’m really not seeing the big deal here. Of course, she had a chance to prove her innocence in a police interview, but when asked about her plans to hire a hit man, Monique responded, “Wouldn’t you want somebody gone if they destroyed your family?” The answer to that is, obviously, a resounding yes.
I totally get Monique here, but unfortunately for her, the jury she’ll face in New Hampshire is unlikely to be a group of recently single 20-something females. Maybe next time stick to drunk texting like the rest of us? And seriously, thanks for making me feel like maybe I’m not such a horrible person after all..
[via Elite Daily]
Nice Move174
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RecruitmentChairTSM
RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at RecruitChairTSM@gmail.com
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