Good Kissers Make The World Go Round

The Average Woman Will Make Out With 15 Guys Before Getting Married

A good kiss could change your life. A good, leg popping kiss that signifies the spark two people have together. It’s magical, really. Being pulled in close and kissed like the world is going to end is enough to make any girl to melt into a puddle on the ground. Kisses are the climax of every rom com and Disney movie. A kiss starts the beginning of a marriage. Even at a young age, we are taught that kisses are the sweetest expression of love. But just as a good kiss could change your life for the better, a bad kiss could ruin it.

There is nothing more disappointing than a bad kisser. Hooking up with a guy who is bad in bed? That sounds like an average weekend for any college girl. But imagine this: you walk up to the bar and happen to be standing to the hottest guy you’ve ever seen. We’re talking a rock solid dimepiece. You get to talking, he buys your vodka sprite for you, and you spend the rest of the night together. Right before last call, he whispers in your ear and asks you to come home with him that night. You accept his invitation as cool as you can, even though you are freaking out on the inside. He smiles, put his hand on your cheek, and proceeds to jam his tongue in your face like an angry octopus tentacle. There is absolutely no rhythm to it either, he is just unleashing terror and spit all over the place. I don’t care how hot the guy is, there is no way that you can confidently reassure yourself that he is about to rock your world when you get back to his place (that’s if you still go).

Let’s examine a similar scenario. You walk up to the bar and stand next to a guy who is pretty cute. He’s not your preferred body type, per say, but he has a cute smile and is pretty funny. The same thing happens as the first scenario, vodka sprites, hanging out, invitation home, he grabs your face, and the entire world stops. Your shoes are no longer stuck to the ground because of all of the spilled alcohol, you are floating above yourself, watching yourself make out like you are in The Notebook. You go home with him already excited because the kiss is so good, that even if he’s not the next James Deen, you still have a great time.

In a perfect world, all guys would be able to do all of it. But it’s a miracle that most college guys have made it this far, so we can’t expect that much of them. If it were to come down to mutual exclusivity, pick the good kisser over the good lay. If the guy is good with his lips, think of what else he’ll probably be good at.

Talking. What were you thinking?

When it comes down to it, it’s not about the size of the boat or the motion of the ocean. It’s about whether or not that boat is a good kisser. If he’s not, send him sailing. Another one will come floating by any minute.

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Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to [email protected] or by smoke signal.

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