Ah, your wedding day. What a magical time to be with the ones you love while you commit yourself to that special somebody. Or, you know, try and drown yourself to get away from them.
Apparently, 33-year-old Chinese man, Kang Hu jumped in a local river in an attempt to kill himself after seeing his arranged bride, 30-year-old Na Sung, for the first time ever on their wedding day. Elite Daily reports that Kang tried to take his own life because Na was “too ugly” and would be “bad for his image.” I’m assuming that Kang is a male model/billionaire philanthropist/Mother Theresa with a penis, so his reasoning was totally justified.
Wedding guests found Kang floating face down in the river shortly after he jumped and immediately called the police. Kang was rushed to a local hospital and is reportedly in stable condition. Once he regained consciousness, Kang elaborated on his decision to try and end his life: “I feel bad about what happened, but when I saw her, she wasn’t what I expected, and I realized she would be bad for my image.”
I’m not about to say that I sympathize with Kang, because, in all honesty, he sounds like a total wang, but I do know what it feels like to not have a setup meet my expectations. You see, for my spring formal junior year, I was in search of a date. My friend Mackenzie told me not to worry because her date was going to set me up with one of his “cute and awesome brothers.” Cut to me, trapped at the pregame with my date AKA the campus’s most notorious drug dealer who was decidedly the opposite of cute. To my credit, however, I did not try to jump in the campus fountain and drown myself (mostly because it was still in the process of being built and had no water in it yet, but still). Instead, I did the mature thing and ignored him while I drank my body weight in tequila. I later found him making out with a freshman in the venue’s coat closet, so the evening was a real win-win for everyone.
And that’s how it’s done, Kang..
[via Elite Daily]
Image via Shutterstock
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