Frat Jesus, pictured, is not the man in this story.
“I literally died last night.” – Every basic bitch on the planet, and also this guy, who literally died a few nights ago.
It was just a normal night in Russia. A bunch of dudes were drinking vodka in excess, as the Russians are wont to do, when eventually, they realized their friend wasn’t moving or conscious and decided it might be in their best interest to call an ambulance. The medics promptly declared the young man dead and took him to a morgue, where he was placed on the floor of a freezer, because it was particularly full that night. There, he lay dead…until he woke up.
Very Jesus Christ of him. Perhaps the Messiah has come again. Or maybe the party god was just born and realized, because despite having woken up in a freezer surrounded by dead bodies, homeboy remained unfazed and took his status of “not dead” as a reason to keep partying.
After waking up and either terrifying the morgue staff, or convincing them he was divine and making them his loyal disciples (which is absolutely the route I would have gone), he answered a few questions and returned to the scene of his death to find his friends were still partying. You know, in his memory.
Upon his return, the event changed to a “rebirthday party” — something I totally support and encourage this man to celebrate for the rest of his life, because having two birthdays is my ultimate goal (so long as I don’t have to get two years older every year)..
[via Mirror]
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
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