You know what I love? Menstruation. That special week I get a month where I shed my uterine lining really makes me happy to be a woman. It really makes me feel beautiful. Sometimes I feel sad that men don’t get to share our in our monthly joy. I mean sure, they get to walk around with their non-blood squirting sex organs like it’s fine, but we know the truth.
We get to have irrational mood swings that are so out of control we might just ruin our relationships. With our SOs, with our parents. With God. We feel the need to consume everything in sight, and with our normal brain process on hiatus, we’ll gladly gain five pounds, easy. The zits. The tears. The bloating. The time you didn’t realize how bad it was and you bled through your favorite underwear because nothing is sacred anymore?
It’s all topnotch.
But the best part? Is having a horny boyfriend who just wants to get his dick wet. So we enjoy dressing in the most unsexy ways (that are also comfortable AF) to ward these bastards off. It’s no secret. But we have no shame.
And neither does an imgur user who found his wife’s choice of period outfits particularly humorous. He posted her “time of the month” costume to the internet for the world to see. Behold:
Beauty. Grace. Miss “Don’t Fucking Touch Me Because I Am NOT About It RN.” So relatable. While most of us are nodding and thinking “I get it, I get it,” the internet is none too pleased. Here are some of my favorite comments on the post because what else is everyone going to do in their spare time?
- “Posting about your wife’s period, with a photo of her, in her pajamas, on the internet, to tens of thousands of people. She’d love it!”
This guy knows. - “Your shower handle also seems to have its ‘time of the month.'”
See?! Everybody’s doing it. - “So it’s not cool that this is pretty much my ‘it’s evening and I’m chilling, period or not’ outfit?”
No. But guys running around in boxers while their balls casually poke out of them is. Totally fair. - “Tucking your period outfit into your socks just for extra safety.”
Safety first. Denying sexual advances second. - “Oh my lord – for a moment, I truly thought this was a pic my SO took of me. I even have those socks. Ugh!”
Same. - “Mine is basically exactly this, only with the addition of a super fluffy robe and two cats that I use as heating pads.”
Cats as heat pads, eh? Sounds like a girl who hasn’t totally given up on love yet, amiright? - “Um, this is how you wake up dead.”
But really. - “My girlfriend says period sex is the best sex…”
Hahahhaha. Maybe. But also, she’s a liar. - “My top consists of pink whales. Because I feel like one.”
Finally, someone says it. - “Fun fact, don’t let period blood dry on your cock, you get a terrible rash that will outlast religion.”
Because honestly we were all wondering this. - “How can you trust anything that bleeds for a week ….. And doesn’t die!”
Trick question. You can’t. - “Nice rugs, bed bath? We got the dark red ones.”
Shopping tips FTW. - “This reminds me of my stepmom, I hated my stepmom.”
Just what every girl dreams of hearing. - “I’m glad I’m a guy. You females got screwed.”
Yeah? You think? - “I would.”
Because the thing is, we can take the joke. We know we look like shit. But the best part is, we know that 10/10 would still bang.
What a time to be alive. Except when we’re on our periods. Because honestly? I’ve never wanted to die more..
[h/t Cosmopolitan, imgur]
Image via Shutterstock
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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