Here’s An Alternative To Hard Alcohol That Your Standards Chair Won’t Hate


I’m big into two things: Shark Tank, and getting drunk. The former won’t get anyone into any trouble, but the latter is a bit of an issue when colleges everywhere are cracking down on hard alcohol. My college campus banned everything but wine and beer in fraternities my senior year, which made me feel a boatload of pity for incoming freshman who would miss out on the 4 year experience I had just enjoyed so thoroughly. Even the 21-year-olds aren’t allowed to be drinking hard alcohol on Greek property, which is batshit crazy, if you ask me. Most girls don’t like beer, or at least the shitty beer they’re serving by the 30-pack in fraternity basements. And while almost every girls digs wine, Franzia tastes like crap and will give you a worse hangover than any dark hard liquor ever could.

Enter Beatbox, the cooler older cousin of Franzia. BeatBox is more like a vodka mixed drink than a wine, and packs the equivalent of 40 beers into each box. It’s a sealed container – unlike those awful trash cans! There’s a 11.1% alcohol content, but low enough calorie count that you won’t feel bloated like you would downing a six pack. It’s the perfect alternative to your college’s ban on anything with an alcohol content higher than 15%.

When the event is BEER & WINE only but you still want it to be epic! (🎉 Event Request Link in Bio) #GoodToGo

A photo posted by BeatBox Beverages (@beatboxbeverages) on

The cool part about BeatBox is that they can cater your event without your school throwing a bitch fit over the otherwise 20+ handles of liquor your chapter thought you could get away with displaying on the bar. Most importantly, you don’t have to worry about open containers or hard liquor crack downs. Even cooler than that? The company was on Shark Tank, and ended up making a deal with Mark Cuban. They also received the highly coveted BooshTFM seal of approval.

It’s actually depressing that we’ve had to wait this long for something like this to pop up. Everybody loves slapping the bag, and now you can do so without having to stomach the potent taste of bottom-shelf boxed wine. Have your social chair fill out an event request and take a load off of your risk manager’s plate. You can thank me later.

[via BeatBox Beverages]

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