Autumn is when the leaves change, nail polish colors get darker, tailgating is back in session, and you can dress your pets in stupid costumes. But if you have ovaries, the best part of fall is easily pumpkin EVERYTHING. Carving pumpkins, pumpkin decorations, dragging your boyfriend to pumpkin patches, and most importantly, eating and sipping anything pumpkin flavored. It’s become a fall tradition for American girls to bolt to the nearest Starbucks just to put their manicured hands on the famous pumpkin spice latte. Starbucks is no doubt the first place that pops into mind when you hear the words “pumpkin spice latte.”
Throughout fall, you are expecting everything pumpkin to come from actual pumpkins. What’s so hard about going to a pumpkin patch, gutting the insides, and making food out of it? Isn’t that supposed to be fun? Isn’t that what the season is made for? Unsurprisingly, not many people or companies actually do this, because it takes too much time, commitment, and cash dollas. Companies generally just choose to use artificial pumpkin. According to Business Insider, food scientist Kantha Shelke found that Starbucks’s PSL contains less than 10% real pumpkin. The other 90% is made with synthetic chemicals designed to trick our brains into thinking it’s the real thing. These chemicals are combined with caffeine and 50 grams of sugar.
To add to all of these godforsaken chemicals, the drink brings a general sense of fall that we just can’t get over. There are spices such as cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger, all of which basically shout, “IT’S FALL, BITCHES.” Drinking it prompts all of our favorite fall memories, like wearing riding boots, dressing slutty on Halloween, stuffing your face at Thanksgiving, and dying your hair darker. What’s better than that? These psychedelic spices are all mixed in one drink. No wonder your brain cells enter another dimension every time you sip on a pumpkin spice latte.
The sad truth is that these lattes aren’t exactly healthy. McDonald’s PSLs are better for you than Starbucks’ PSLs, if that puts things in perspective. There are 270 calories and 40 grams of sugar in a McDonald’s pumpkin spice latte. Starbucks contains 380 calories and 50 grams of sugar in one.
So there you have it. Your favorite fall drink is jam packed with calories, sugar, chemicals, spices, and god knows what else. Pretty much anything but actual pumpkin is in the Starbucks drink. After learning this, I bet only true fans will stick with this drink for better or for worse. There’s a reason you can interact with the drink on social media. It’s because the Starbucks pumpkin spice lattes rule the world.
[via College Candy]