Just to preface this story, it has nothing to do with sorority life, college, or even girls in general, though it does have to do with something we all find terrifying: dropping our cell phones in water. You could fall into the pool with your phone in your pocket or you could leave it on a beach towel as the tide rolls in. You could also just not realize it’s in your hands while you’re praying at the porcelain alter, when all of a sudden, you lose your grip, and PLOOP–right in the crapper.
Selfies, contacts, unread Tinder messages, perfectly crafted stock nudes–it’s all gone. You have to go to the Apple Store, where you cry a little bit in front of the nerd at the genius bar. You get a new phone. Hopefully you backed up everything on your iCloud, but, well, you and I both know you didn’t. You have everyone text you his her her number and then you start the cycle over again.
But this German schoolboy wasn’t going to take that lying down. Oh no. This 16-year-old kid was determined to get his phone back, and he wasn’t going to let anything stand in his way–not even a pond full of water. On a fishing trip with friends, he dropped his phone into the drink. After the club that owned the pond refused to let him use his diving suit and equipment to recover it, he decided to take matters into his own hands and drain the entire effing pond.
How did he do it? Simple. He snuck back with a powerful pump and two hoses to carry the water into…well, a toilet. We’ve come full circle here.
“I thought two pumps would drain enough of the water from the pond so I could find my cellphone,” the kid told his local newspaper. “I knew the phone was probably dead but wanted to get the data card back with the numbers, pictures and videos of my friends.”
Unfortunately, after draining the pond, he didn’t realize that the toilet wasn’t connected to a sewage system; it had to go somewhere, so he inadvertently flooded the entire club’s parking garage. (Or “Car Park,” as those quaint Europeans say.)
The boy was ordered to pay for the toilet damage, the cleanup operation, and the water to refill the pond. He didn’t recover his phone, but he sounded somewhat proud of what he did.
“It almost worked,” he said.
That’s the spirit, young man. Bully for you.