All semester long it seems so much of our energy is focused on the big day: Homecoming. I’m not denying that Homecoming is one of the greatest days of the year, but the events leading up to it are pretty wonderful as well. Courting season is one of the few magical times when entire fraternities are bending over backwards with presents, parties, and pampering in hopes that in a month or so the opportunity will present itself for them to make out with you and your sisters…and by make out I mean slam. When two chapters are courting you, it’s twice as nice. A little friendly, but not at all friendly, competition is just the ticket to ensure that the pledges of these fine organizations are at your service. Of course my favorite thing about courting season is that you have safe-rides every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night for pretty much the entire semester. Nothing says sisterhood like cramming 12 girls into the back seat of a 5 Series. I also love all the PDA. Huge banners are displayed all over campus (and whatever other spectacles they can come up with) to remind you how fabulous your sorority is (as if you didn’t constantly remind yourself). It’s simply lovely. Everything else, including the home cooked dinners, baked goods, and cute freshmen boys cleaning your house are all nice, but when it comes down to it, they don’t really do it as well as you would have anyway. I’m really not that interested in a man who can cook and clean any more than he is interested in a woman who makes more money than he does.
Two fraternities have invited us to a weeklong event almost every semester I’ve been involved with my organization, and anyone in the same boat is well aware that following the exhilaration associated with courting comes complete anarchy. Deciding whose invitation to accept is the most drama you’ll deal with all semester (outside of recruitment). Whose boyfriend is in this fraternity and what pledge took 20 minutes to pick you up in that fraternity? I’m not saying it doesn’t matter, because it like…does, but at a certain point you really just need to get over it. Guess what’s going to happen either way. You’re going to endure a week full of mixers and activities enjoyed with adult beverages, and you’ll probably meet a boy who has to be nice to you and pay you lots of attention, because he’s going to see you every night for the whole week. The only reason that your week wouldn’t end like this is if you’ve already been put on reserve by some ex-hookup alumnus who texted you a month ahead of time saying: “I miss you! Can’t wait to see you for Homecoming!” Does he really miss you? Maybe. But more likely than not he just misses having sleepovers with a fine female at a place that isn’t his parents’ house.
Finally comes the eve of this monumental occasion. You’re almost burnt out from blacking out for the past seven nights, but it’s Friday and you are absolutely going to rally this year. You decide to go out, despite the 7am obligation you have in the morning involving further binge drinking, and you find the bars are overcrowded with alumni. Well, this sucks. You find yourself repeatedly saying “She doesn’t even go here!” pretty much the entire night until you see a graduated sister. Be warned…the first thing out of your mouth when you see her had better be “OMG! Did you get even SKINNIER!” Trust me, that’s all she wants to hear. Her life is filled with grown-up worries, and her days of drinking herself into oblivion are long gone. She should at least feel like she looks great.
As for the actual day, there’s not much to say about it, because who can even remember it? I know this year I will wake up in the morning feeling not-so-refreshed and pound back a few shots before heading over to the pre-tailgate party for some mimosas and breakfast. And then on Sunday morning (afternoon) I will wake up on the couch, in the bathroom, or in my roommate’s bed feeling like a dead person, hoping that I didn’t lose anything important like my wallet, or my dignity. As for the in-between, your guess is as good as mine.
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at [email protected]
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