If you watch “American Horror Story,” this news story will seem eerily reminiscent of a featured character on this season’s “Freak Show.” His name is Twisty the Clown, and he looks like this:
Fucking scary shit, right? The saving grace in last week’s episode was that, at the end of it all, we could take our brains out of our heads, turn on “Housewives,” and be all like, “Well, thank God THAT isn’t real.” Except, you know what? It is real. And now is when we all collectively go home, hide under our covers, and attempt to find Jesus or God or Allah or Oprah. I don’t care what you believe, but I do believe that you best start praying.
Residents of Wasco, Calif., are (rightfully) a little spooked and a little peeved that clowns have started roaming the streets of their town at night. While police say that it’s not illegal, I think we can all agree that it’s creepy as all hell. Honestly, if I was out at night and came face-to-face with a clown, I would lose. my. shit. Stay in California, you creeps–we have enough weirdos in Austin already.