Let me paint you a romantic, ~steamy~ picture. You and your guy (or not your guy, I don’t know your life) are entering a bedroom. It’s not your bedroom because your bedroom is littered with dirty clothes and Chipotle containers, but it’s a bedroom. A sexy bedroom. The lighting is dim, your legs (and things that aren’t legs) are shaved, you’re feeling skinny and things are heating up. He’s kissing you in all the right places. He’s swearing that you’re better than his ex and he doesn’t even remember her name. Hands fumble. Breaths hitch. It happens.
Sex happens.
The rolling. The thrusting. The uh, humping? Five minutes go by. Then ten. Then twenty. Hours pass and then before you know it, your alarm is going off and you’re still having sex. You’ve been having sex all. night. long. It’s something you’ll brag about to your friends. Something you dream of. Something you long for. Or is it?
The answer is, of course, no. Fuck no. That’s not the dream. That’s the damn nightmare. I don’t care what people in the movies say, you don’t want to have sex all night long. And it turns out, most of us aren’t. According to a study reported on by Randal Olson, the average time we’re getting it on isn’t until morning. Or even until the show is over.
It’s only six munites. Two songs. Maybe like, 450 thrusts and, on average, most guys are done.
500 random (hetero) couples were asked to track the length of their sexual activities. Romantic, right? They started the timer as soon as there was penetration and stopped it at the big finale (him ejaculating, not you coming. Come on, who cares about female orgasms?). This went on for four exotic weeks, and here are the riveting results.
Image via Randal OlsonThe sex times ranged from six seconds (yikes) to 53 minutes (just kill me). But most guys lasting between four and eleven minutes. And any guy over twenty minutes was considered a sex God. So the next time you’re getting it on, and it’s over before the commercial break just remember — it’s totally normal. Sad and totally non-orgasm inducing, not normal, nevertheless..
[via Randal Olson]
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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