I am addicted to Pinterest. I don’t mean that in the way people say, “I’m addicted to chocolate,” or “I’m addicted to not wearing pants.” I mean that I am actually addicted to Pinterest. I spend multiple hours a day on that dumb website. I get off on arranging my boards. The OCD part of me gets to take over, and I feel so accomplished for literally wasting my day away. I’m approaching pinning my ten thousandth pin this month if you thought I was just being dramatic. I wasn’t.
Like any good Pinterest addict, I’ve devoted a substantial amount of time to my wedding board. Did I say board? I meant boards. Plural. I have 10. I’m not kidding. I have a board for the ceremony, the reception, the ring, the dress, the bouquet, the you-get-the-picture-because-I’m-tired-of-listing-these-things already. I have my exact wedding planned out to a T, and if anything isn’t exactly as I have it planned, I will literally lose my shit.
I know what you’re thinking, and yes, my boyfriend does actually know about these. Oh, you think I meant fiancé? Nope, I’m not engaged, and I have more than 500 pins describing my perfect wedding. I know who designed my sweetheart-cut, trumpet-shaped, lace-covered gown. I know that my wedding colors will be crimson red and champagne, and that even my red velvet cake will match my color scheme. I know I’ll carry a bouquet of white peonies and that I’ll exit for my honeymoon after a sparkler send-off. The groom? Oh, he’s just a minor detail.
You see, that is the problem with Pinterest. We’ve made the Pinterest perfect day the goal, not a relationship that makes you happy every day. I would be lying if I said there hadn’t been days where I liked the idea of my Pinterest wedding more than the relationship I was actually in. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t dated guys because, “I don’t know, they could be a good dad someday,” even though I didn’t have the tiniest bit of interest. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t imagined what a person could be, instead of taking him for who he really is.
The thing about this is that it’s not fair to anyone. It’s not fair to you. If you’re always looking to some magical point in the future where you’ll be happy, you will never be happy in the present. Your wedding isn’t some end goal that you’re trying to achieve–it’s one day in the journey of your lives together. Moreover, it’s certainly not fair to your future husband. I can say from experience that there’s nothing more disheartening to your guy than feeling like he’s merely a detail in the event that has your heart. Your wedding is about HIM and your life with HIM, not about the perfect picture sealing your wedding with a kiss at the end of your sparkler exit at dusk.
Your wedding is about making a promise. You invite your friends and family, not so they’ll Instagram the event (#jonespartyoftwo) but so you have witnesses to your vow to love each other forever. Even when you hate each other. Even when someone loses a job. Even when you realize you’ll be picking up dirty underwear off the floor every day until you die. Even when you yell and scream and fight. If you view your wedding as your high point or your end goal, you’re in for a horrible and rude awakening for the next 70 years when you realize the best time has already come and gone. The wedding is only the beginning. The real romance is loving each other every day forever, even through those hard times. It’s waking up next to the same person every day and having that warm feeling in your soul of being deeply loved. And when Pinterest can help me express that, I’ll finally advocate that it’s done right in the eyes of love..
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