There are a lot of important things that go into being a family. There is open and honest communication, there is love, there is protection, there is an unmeasurable bond, and there are all those times you go above and beyond to make sure that you are the most attractive sister.
It takes years to master the art of being the hottest sister of the family. I had a lot of stiff competition growing up, seeing as my two older sisters are beautiful and have bigger boobs than I do, but I think my greatest accomplishment to date is not getting a 3.8 GPA throughout college, it’s not having a successful relationship, and it’s not being the most popular girl in my sorority because all of those things will fade away eventually. My biggest accomplishment in life is knowing that I’m “the hot one” of my sisters.
It’s a double-edge sword, because you want people to know how great your sisters are, but you don’t want them to think they are greater than you, obviously. So how do you make sure that YOU are the hot sister? That boys are always telling your siblings, “your sister is so hot!!!” Here’s the fool proof guide, ladies.
Have Some Mystery
Whether you are a wild child or an innocent little baby angel, have some mystery about you. If you are posting everything online about your life (my oldest sister) people are going to be put off by you immediately. Mystery is sexy. So if you don’t have a sexy face, have a sexy sense of, “no one knows what I’m doing. And no one can know.” It’ll drive the masses crazy.
Own Your Style
Again, you can be a little slut bag in a skin tight skirt, or a conservative librarian with a cardigan on at the bar, but if you own your style, it will be hot. That’s where one of my sisters reaches her downfall. She copies my style, and of course we get in those fights, “STOP BUYING EVERYTHING I BUY! STAY OUT OF MY CLOSET!” But really, this is a compliment in disguise. Imitation is the best form of flattery, and if you aren’t imitating anyone, you are owning your style.
Be The Smartest, Or Pretend To Be If You’re Not
It’s okay if you’re not smart. But it’s not okay to lack confidence because you think you’re not smart. You gotta fake it ’til you make it, honey. No one likes an airhead and honestly no one cares what your GPA is, but having intelligence, whether it be book smarts or street smarts will get you far. Capitalize on the things you know you can do well, and do them often, in front of people. Record it if you have to. Facebook live it. Make people believe you are smart.
Be The Parents’ Favorite
If you are the parents’ favorite, you are everyone’s favorite because you know how to blend in with your surroundings, but not in a bad way. There is a difference in being fake and knowing how to act in certain situations. When my sister shows up to Christmas mass belligerent and trying not to puke in the communion cup, Mom and Dad aren’t happy. But there I am, sitting with my angelic halo around me, they introduce me to everyone while my sister gets shoved in the back of the car, even though that’s where I’d rather be.
Have The Biggest Boobs
I never had the biggest boobs out of my sisters. But I invested in many push-up bras, and now it’s not as noticeable. And let’s just call it like we see it, guys love boobs. Boobs are hot. Girls with nice boobs are hot.
So good luck on your journey to become the hottest in your family. If you fail, pick yourself up and try again. And if all else fails, disown them and say you’re an only child so no one will compare you..
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