It’s a given that the end of summer sucks. One second, you’re living it up in the sun without a care in the world, and the next thing you know, you’re being uprooted back to real life and bitch-slapped across the face with a bunch of pointless homework assignments, recruitment handbooks, and tacky Halloween decorations. It’s quite literally the definition of “the worst.”
But what makes the sting of late August so much worse than any peeling sunburn in the history of peeling sunburns is the end of a summer fling. Whether he was the foreign flame, the infamous bad boy, or the emotionally unavailable redneck gent, it doesn’t make saying goodbye any easier (or less awkward). But the truth is, summer romances are just like natural tan lines–eventually they’re meant to fade away. So here are some tips that’ll help you get over him faster than you can say, “It was nice having sex with you for three months. See ya never!”
Accept It
Spoiler alert: coming to terms with the fact that your summer fling has flung won’t be a walk in the park. One minute, you’re in the prime of a three-month one-night stand and you’re able to do it anywhere and everywhere when before you know it, you’re back at school faced with a whole new level of depression as you realize that dick drawing you just saw in your Calc II textbook is the closest thing you’ll get to sexual spontaneity any time soon. But sooner or later, you’re going to have to wake up and smell the pumpkin spice. You knew at the beginning of June that your relationship had a late August expiration date. And while I don’t necessarily enjoy comparing romantic endeavors to deli meat, think of it like this: summer romances are like rotting food; the sooner you realize you’re holding onto something well past its “best by” date, the faster you can throw it behind you.
Get Into A New Routine
You woke up in his bed multiple times a week for the past three months and now you’re waking up with nothing to cuddle but three half-eaten cartons of Easy Mac and an empty bottle of Merlot (because red makes everything more dramatic, duh). That’s, like, ex-reality TV stars’ “E! True Hollywood Story” levels of sad. Bottom line: you need to start a new routine. Go call Mom, go start a new craft project, hell, go vegan so you can finally stop inhaling Easy Macs at the speed of sound for all I care–just avoid anything that involves him or the idea of him. And yes, viciously stalking every girl who’s ever posted on his wall since 2008 does count.
Think About The Positives
Don’t think about the time he didn’t offer to pay, or the time he ditched a dinner date for Super Smash Bros, or the time he broke things off for 24 hours because, well, all men get their periods, too. Like the Disney Song Bible says, you’ve got to accentuate the positives. One of the first things that my summer fling ever said to me was that summer is all about living in the moment. And as cliché as it sounds, it’s true. Getting into a relationship that both of you knew was going to end meant you were able to (for the most part) eliminate the petty drama and mind games, and enjoy the memory-making and here and now stuff. Think about the lazy but perfect days at the beach together, the random country music sing-offs, the drunken campfire kisses. Those are the moments you’ll want to look back on and remember long after your last pickup truck sexcapade.
Drink. With People.
No reason or explanation necessary.
Nice Move362
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Drunk but not in love
(@DrunkNOTinLove) is a die-hard Splenda addict who requires a constant supply of caffeine and male attention to make it through the day. After graduating with her degree in Economics, she now focuses her energy on adding a "Home" to her degree title by perfecting the "intelligent drunk," and conning a banker into marrying her one day. Originally from New England, she is a hardcore Boston sports fan, but only when boys are around. Almost all of her calories consumed Thursday - Saturday (and the occasional Tuesday) are from $7 bottles of Yellowtail Moscato, and in no way, shape, or form is she fazed by this. All forms of hate mail and date party inquiries can be sent to drunkbutnotinlove@gmail.com
@DrunkNOTinLove
