How To Handle Losing Your Rush Crush

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For most schools, fall recruitment has finally ended. The babies are getting adjusted to sorority life and their new homes, and the actives are probably unwinding with wine and all six seasons of “Gossip Girl.” In a perfect world, your organization would get every single girl it wanted and no one would be disappointed. Unfortunately, this isn’t a perfect world, so some of you are probably dealing with the grief that follows the loss of a rush crush.

During my first recruitment as an active, I had two rush crushes. I wanted them in my organization so badly I could taste it. I just knew my home was the same one they would call their home. But when pref day came, neither of their names were on our lists. I stared at the papers in disbelief. I knew the girls had loved us, and everyone had seemed to love them, so where were they? It had to be a mistake.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t. I was devastated. But, as I talked to a few of my sisters in leadership positions, they helped me realize that, although we don’t always understand, we have to trust the recruitment process. If these girls were meant to be our sisters, they would be, just not right now.

It can be hard to lose your rush crush. You probably feel like the recruitment process let you down. You might even be angry with some of your sisters. You might think that if you had all tried harder, your girl would still be with you. But the truth is, recruitment is designed to get every girl to her home. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how hard you try, your rush crush just might not have that connection with your organization. But that’s okay–it doesn’t make your organization bad. Look at all the AWESOME girls your chapter did get! Chances are, your sorority had a great recruitment, so revel in the fact that you’ve got some incredible new members to get to know.

It’s important to remember that just because your rush crush might have gone to another sorority, it doesn’t mean you’re losing her. Just because you wear different letters, it doesn’t mean you can’t be friends. Let her know you’re happy she found her home and that you’d still like to hang out. No matter the letters, we’re all Greek together, remember? You should be happy for her, not bitter that she found a better connection with another sorority.

One of my rush crushes joined another sorority that year, and while I was sad about it, we still see each other and she loves her sisterhood. Now that I’ve seen her with them, it’s impossible to imagine her going anywhere else. As for my other rush crush, she chose to go through recruitment again, and I’m honored to call her my sister now. Sometimes, recruitment is less of a “no” and more of a “not right now.” Just remember to trust your recruitment process, even if it means you don’t get your rush crush right away, or at all. Recruitment isn’t a perfect process, but it’s built to send every girl where she belongs. It’s meant to get us all home.

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ShutUpAndRead is a mass communications major from a small school in South Carolina that you've probably never heard of. She enjoys reading, long walks on the beach, and judging the Twitterverse. When she's not busy watching videos of sloths or babies dancing to pop music, she can be found pretending to be a princess and working diligently on her MRS degree.

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