How To Have The Most Banging Summer Road Trip

road trip

Let me take a shot in the dark about how your summer is going so far. You’ve tried a fad diet or two, tanned enough to make Vanessa Hudgens look pale, and (almost) out-shopped your Chanel addicted grandmother. Most days, you’re bored out of your mind, and if you have to tell your parents where you are going and who you are seeing one more time, you might have to punch yourself in the face. To make it all worse, your sisters are spread all over the map and there’s literally no way you’re going to make it all the way until fall without seeing them. In short, you need a way to make it over the hump of summer. This calls for a road trip.

Now, I know all you bitches have seen Crossroads with Britney Spears at least once. Unless you’re team Christina, you have no excuse for not having seen this movie yet. And being team Christina is like picking one ply over two ply, James Franco over Dave Franco. Sure, they’d all get the job done, but one is clearly superior in every way (Brit, I love you, girl!). In any case, let me jog your memory. Spears and her two childhood gal pals embark on a totally crazy and totally 2000s adventure, hitting the open road in a smart little convertible.

Fast-forward to 2015, and the idea of driving for hours in the sunshine, wearing ray bans and listening to cuts like ‘Summer Girls’ by LFO still holds major appeal. If you’re going to road trip, you’ve got to do it right, which brings me to my first two points. First, you need to select your vehicle and second, you need to assemble a road trip squad. While road tripping in a convertible would be HELLA insta-worthy, there is no way all of your outfit changes and snack options would fit in that tiny trunk and there’s not enough Maui Babe in the world to even out a car tan. Sure, you could pack less, but last I checked you aren’t a peasant. Your wheels of choice should be roomy, have a bangin’ sound system, and preferably be sans child safety windows. The last qualification is in case you see a cute guy on the freeway and need to execute a quick vehicle change. They do it in the movies all the time, it’s totally safe, trust me!

Once you get your transportation squared away, you need to pick the girls you’re going to roll with. Since you’ll be spending a lot of time in a very small and enclosed space with one another, it’s best to just select your truly bottom bitches. You know, the ones who will sweetly let you sleep while they take their turn driving. Just kidding, they’ll probably turn on Fetty Wap and kick the base up to the highest notch (if they’re not sleeping, neither are you). My best advice is to embark with the girl(s) who live nearest to you, then to drive along your selected route while picking up your other miscreants along the way.

Obviously, you need to pick a route and select your destinations. Pick locations like beaches, picturesque small towns, and state parks. If this is strictly a “girls” trip, think about researching some cute antique stores and farmers markets along your route. If you’re also going with the goal of meeting dudes, check out which schools are nearby because tons of guys stay on campus for summer. Don’t forget to look into what the cool bars are as well as if the local baseball team has a game while you’re in town.

The beauty of the road trip is that it can be as simple or as extravagant as you make it. You can stay in nice hotels, or practically shower in hand sanitizer, and still have your perfect all-American road trip. And while you may get caught up trying to ‘do it for the ‘gram,’ do your best to file some of the memories you make away for your own personal safekeeping. It’s okay to go MIA for a few days while you reacquaint yourself with this great country and the people who are blessed to live in it alongside you.

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A native Seattleite and self-proclaimed Snapchat queen, she's been a coffee addict since she found out what a coffee bean was. Believer in and promoter of the #freeguac and #freegucci movements. She is obsessed with all things Harry Potter and has been known to stop people at parties to tell them how to remove the wine from their clothes. In her spare time, she enjoys baking, writing for TSM, and pretending like she has her act together. Hit her up @

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