What goes up must come down. Empires rise and they fall, and sometimes, great fraternities and sororities are kicked off campus. In “Total Frat Movie,” our alpha chapter, Alpha Chi Gamma, is kicked off campus from the get-go because of fireworks, bad pledges, and the Chinese (you’ll have to watch it). The main characters spend the remaining duration of the movie trying to regain their charter and rise to the top. It’s a classic tale. And while the Alpha Chi Gammas had genius comedy, totally illegal and over-the-top shenanigans, a little movie magic, and Tom Green to help them on their mission, in real life, things can be much harder.
If your sorority is coming back onto campus after several years of probation, it’s going to be tough. You have a lot of things working against you. Your pledge class is likely the only pledge class, with no older girls leading the way. You were recruited by a group of women–either your alumnae or neighboring chapters–all of whom don’t totally care about the success of your organization anymore, and all of whom might be looking for different things in new members. And, of course, for better or for worse, you still have your sorority’s old reputation working for (or, more likely, against) you. But it’s not a lost cause. You can rise to the top again–you just need to play it right.
1. Your First Recruitment Is Crucial
It’s going to be hard, and you’re going to have to play dirty. Do not rely too heavily on the help of the other chapters at your school. At the end of the day, while they don’t see you as a threat, you’re still competition. Their goal is to not give you a good recruitment. You need to ask neighboring chapters of your own sorority for help with recruitment this year. Be selective (cool chapters only). You also need to do your best job of working with what you’ve got. You’re (kind of) a new, young sorority and you’re not used to judging each other. But you have to. Try to use homogeneous bump groups (pretty and social girls mixed with weird and less cute girls) and if anyone is going to make a bad impression on PNMs, try not to have them heavily participating in recruitment past the first round.
2. All Eyes Are On You
Your first year on campus is accompanied by something that is both a blessing and a curse. Everyone is trying to figure you out. Everyone wants to know who you are. Everyone wants to label you. This means attendance at your philanthropy events will be high, and that fraternities and sororities will be asking you to mixers regularly. Do not fuck it up. I’m just going to come out and say it: being “classy” is not the way for a sorority to gain favor on Greek Row. It’s just not. You have to be fun. You need to give people–especially fraternities–a reason to want to continue to be around you. Mixing with good fraternities means PNMs will want to be in your sorority; you can choose the cutest new members, then good fraternities will want to mix with you, then PNMs will want to be in your sorority, and then the cycle continues. Once you have a chapter full of regulation hotties, you can be as bitchy or as boring as you want. But for now, you need to show everyone you can party. Look, I’m not saying you should definitely put out, but when some girls inevitably do, maybe don’t call them to standards for it.
3. Win Shit
There will be a ton of competitions this year. Well, every year, really. You need to win them. As many of them as possible. Research them. Watch the videos from last year and the year before to figure out what the judges are looking for, and do it. Encourage the dancers to do the dance things. Encourage the athletes to do Powder Puff. Encourage your nerdy girls to do trivia night. Just win everything. It will get you noticed. It will get the head of Greek affairs to like you, which will mean you can weasel some things out of him or her when you need them. Just remember, the people who say “winning isn’t everything” are the losers. You’ll have time to not give a shit once you establish yourselves as the most badass sorority on campus and you can ride on reputation, but for now, crush everything you do. Always be crushing.
Or you can just watch “Total Frat Movie” and see how they did it. Your call..
Nice Move376
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
@VeronicaRuckh
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