How To Speak “Girl”


There’s no use in denying everything we say has a double meaning. Unless you’re with your absolute best friends, there’s no way you’re completely honest 100% of the time about EVERYTHING. Girls are masters of manipulation, which is especially true when it comes to manipulating the English language. There are a million different words and phrases that mean something entirely different in girl world than they do in real life.

Chill [chil] adjective: “I don’t hang out with girls because I don’t do drama. I’m just really chill.”
Definition: I’m a slut.

Just Friends [juhst frendz] noun: “No, there’s nothing going on between us! He and I are just friends
Definition: He doesn’t want to fuck me, so I’m going to keep trying to mindfuck him into liking me. Tell him I’m pretty.

Basically [bey-sik-lee] adjective: “He’s basically my boyfriend.”
Definition: Something is kind of occurring between us in the very preliminary stages: I know his name and am majorly obsessed with him.

Great Personality [greyt pur-suh-nal-i-tee] noun: “She has a really nice personality.”
Definition: We could bid her, but we’re definitely going to have to throw her in the kitchen during recruitment.

Technically [tek-ni-kuh-lee] adjective: “I mean, she didn’t technically break any rules, but I think she needs to be called to standards. She needs at least a warning.”
Definition: I’m going to exaggerate because I need the swift delivery of justice.

Nice [nahys] adjective“Your new haircut looks really nice.”
Definition: You look fugly, but I am too much of a bitch to actually tell you.

Creeper [kree-per] noun: “Ew. Her boyfriend is a total creeper.”
Definition: There is no way in hell I would ever let him near me, regardless of how much I’ve had. He is the guy who can defy the laws of alcohol consumption; regardless of how little, or how much he drinks, he still sucks.

Obsessed [uhb-sest] noun: “He’s so obsessed with me that I need to stop talking to him.”
Definition: He’s ignoring me, but I’m going to pretend I have the upperhand and make people think he’s a clinger.

Too busy [too biz-ee] noun: “I’m way too busy for a boyfriend.”
Definition: I am obsessed with having a boyfriend, but I’m painfully single so I over schedule myself into forgetting I’m going to die alone.

Not that type of girl [not that tahyp uhv gurl] noun: “I am not that type of girl, and I would never ever do what she did.”
Definition: I’m insecure about any questionable activities I’ve engaged in at any point in my life.

Just made out [juhst meyd out] verb: “Oh, we totally DID NOT do anything bad. We just made out.”
Definition: Well it started with making out…and then I made out with his dick, and then he penetrated me, but I’m going to lie about it profusely.


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