How To Stay Friends After You Join Different Sororities

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It’s finally Bid Day! You are standing with your roommate from the dorm, who you’ve grown to love over the past few weeks. You are both so excited…until you realize your bids are to two different chapters. A moment of panic hits when you realize that you and this girl you’ve shared this crazy recruitment experience with will not share the bond of sisterhood as you had hoped. But, while it takes a little bit of effort, it’s definitely possible to stay friends if you wind up in different chapters.

Prioritize The Friendship. Once you join a sorority, life gets crazy. One top of the regular obligations of school, there is a whole new list of things you have to do: everything from new member meetings to study hours to philanthropy events. But as important as all of the things you will do as a new member are, it’s just as important to remember to prioritize the things outside of your new sorority–and that includes the friendships you had before you got your bid. One of the keys to successfully navigate your new member period is time management (seriously, buy a planner and schedule the shit out of yourself) so remember to budget time for friends who don’t share your letters–and for those who don’t have any letters at all.

Join Your Worlds Together. One of the reasons many of us joined a sorority was to meet new people, but why do we have to limit that to just the people in our chapter? One of our favorite memories from our new member period was a sleepover we had with another chapter’s new member class, set up by one of our pledge sisters who was roommates with one of the girls in the other chapter. Not only did we get to spend time with our pledge sisters, but we met this whole other group of awesome girls, too. If you’re comfortable, take the initiative and set up an event between your friend’s new member class and your own. At the very least, you’ll get to know her sisters and she’ll get to know yours.

Stay Above The Inter-Sorority Fray. We all know that for all the talk about how Panhellenic we are, there is definitely inter-sorority conflict on every campus, particularly during recruitment. You need to rise above the fray if you want to maintain a relationship with your friends in other chapters. There are two options here: you either simply walk away when the shit talk starts or you speak up and say, “You know, my friend Jess is in that chapter, and she’s pretty awesome.” Either way, don’t give in to the temptation to talk shit in an effort to fit in–it makes you look two-faced when you’re seen on campus with a member of the chapter you just said sucks.

Go To Fraternity Parties Together. Some of our closest friends are girls in other sororities who dated guys from the same fraternity as we did. While we might not have been drawn to the same group of sisters, we’re certainly drawn to the same dudes. And let’s be real, we spend way more time with our friends at fraternity parties than we do with the guy we’re dating. Let them do their keg stands and incessantly play beer pong while you hang out with your girls, both from your chapter and not.

Remember, you ARE sisters. You hear it all the time: “Whatever the letter, we’re all Greek together.” And while you most certainly share a special bond with the sisters in your chapter, there is something to be said for the bond that we all share with our Panhellenic sisters. You can’t understand what it means to be in a sorority unless you are in one, and that’s something you and your friend share, even if your letters aren’t the same.

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, and documenting her love of all things cheese related. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at

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