How To Survive A Date When You Only Want A Hookup

How To Survive A Date When You Only Want A Hookup

Life is full of disappointment: those perfect heels that aren’t in your size, your rush crush joining your rival sorority, the fact that Ryan Reynolds is married. The list goes on.
But life is about learning to deal with these disappointments.

One such disappointment every girl has experienced is matching with a total ten on tinder only to find out you two have nothing in common. I mean NOTHING. You were so excited because he met all of your requirements. He had a great sense of humor, a killer smile, and he was well over six foot.

The problem with dating is you generally have to talk to the other person. Not every guy can be the strong silent type. Until someone finds a way around this unfortunate fact, here are a few easy steps to survive a date night when you only want a booty call.

1. Utilize Those Recruitment Skills

A failsafe question with PNMs is always “So tell me about yourself.” The PNM then proceeds to talk about her favorite subject: herself. Guys are no different. Even if he rambles on about his fantasy football team, try not to stab yourself with your salad fork.

2. Have a Go-To Sports Team

Whether it’s football, soccer or NASCAR, pick at least one team or athlete for your arsenal. You should be able to give a SparkNotes summary on them. Preferably, pick a team he probably doesn’t follow.

“I’m really into soccer, specifically Real Madrid. Even if you don’t like Cristiano Ronaldo, you have to admit he’s an amazing player.”

Not everyone is blessed with brothers or natural athletic ability. I don’t care if the extent of your sports knowledge is pee wee soccer. Lie bitch. Chances are, he’ll take over the conversation talking about his favorite team anyways.

3. You LOVE Game of Thrones

Even if you think “Winter is Coming” is an L.L. Bean ad, you can fake your way through this conversation. Lucky for you, almost everyone is dead so you only have to pretend to know about three whole people. White haired, dragon girl is a total badass. Midget man is the smart one. John Snow is sexy and brooding. *SPOILER* Then he died and came back to life. Now he’s back to sexy brooding. They all want to sit on the iron throne. (That’s about all I’ve gathered and I’ve seen every season.)

4. Act Interested in Video Games

Good news! You do not need to even pretend to know about video games for this one. No matter what game he is currently playing, tell him, “That’s nice, but have you ever played drunk Mario Kart?!” Sound really excited about this and tell him you could totally beat him. Guys love a fun challenge and this gives him an excuse to invite you over at the end of the night. I’m not saying guys are predictable, but this line has never failed me.

5. Fake It Til You Make It

Do not underestimate the power of smiling and nodding. Keep him talking about himself. As an added bonus, this means you can keep drinking the wine.

If you follow these steps, he’ll be too busy talking about himself to notice you have nothing in common. That leaves the rest of the night to get on with the important stuff. Next time though, save yourself the trouble. Keep it clean. Keep it casual. Keep it a hookup.

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Snarky Srat

My hobbies and interests include everything that won't make me money. Now accepting rich husband applications.

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