I once calculated that I actually end up kind of liking one in every ten guys I go out with. That sounded pretty decent at first. I shouldn’t be trying to make it work with more than 10% of the eligible male dating pool. It’s called having standards. But then I realized how long it actually takes to go out with eleven different guys. I go out with someone new, maybe once a month. That means I’ll only have a crush on someone once a year, maybe twice if it works out that way. And the chances of that crush being reciprocated? I’m no mathematician, so I actually don’t know what the chances are, but it hasn’t worked out so far.
Sure, I have had decent dates, some of which turn into second dates, but those guys I get really excited about are few and far between. So I’ve decided, I need to be more purposeful about dating if I want to make it happen. So fuck losing weight, or getting organized, or doing charity. My New Year’s Resolution is to go on a date every single week until I have a boyfriend. The way I see it, this will accomplish a few things.
1. It’s a pure numbers game.
Simply put, the more dates I go on, the more likely I will be to find someone I like. Hopefully. I’m not getting any younger, and I’ve sat by passively for too long. I need to put the pedal to the metal, and give myself the best shot I’ve got.
2. It’s something to do.
There’s no downside to going on a lot of dates if you’re a woman. I enjoy being a pretty social person. The cool thing about being an adult is you are free when you leave work at the end of the day. I’d never go on a first date on a weekend, because I have other shit to do. But during the week? I’m pretty much just sitting around watching Netflix. This will allow me to go to new restaurants and bars every single week FOR FREE.
3. I won’t write people off as easily.
In the age of dating apps, I’m so easily turned off by a rogue emoji, or off-the-cuff comment, that I could be really damaging my dating life. People I’ve genuinely enjoyed have sent stupid texts before. I’ve sent stupid texts before. It would be absolutely ludicrous to think I’m missing out on the LOML because a guy used the wrong “your.” Yes, if he doesn’t genuinely know the difference, that’s a problem. But frankly, typos exist. If I’m trying to meet a “quota,” I might overlook something that frankly isn’t a big fucking deal to begin with.
4. I’ll be more assertive.
I have never asked someone out in my entire life. Never ever. Frankly, I want everyone to come to me, and I won’t even text guys, because it’s “their” job. But all this waiting around probably comes off as disinterested. I resolve to send a text if I want to talk to someone, and maybe — just maybe — let them know if I want to see them. I won’t be needy. I’ll get the hint if they’re not feeling me. But sitting around and waiting for someone to chase me has not served me well in the past. So I’ll change some shit up.
5. I’ll accept more second dates.
Repeat dates count toward my weekly quota, because, uhhh, you can’t find a boyfriend if you only ever go on one date with him. I’ve been on a lot of first dates that never led to second dates because I couldn’t force myself to care enough. I think, always, that if I’m not immediately obsessed with a guy that it can’t work. But literally every piece of research says the opposite. Sparks fade, but feelings grow. And maybe through all this, my instincts are right. Or maybe I’ll learn that I like a guy a lot more on a second date than I did on the first.
And so, I invite you to join me on this journey that will either end in a lot more bitching or an engagement. Too soon to tell..
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