I Didn’t Know I Was The Other Woman


I felt betrayed. I felt manipulated. Most of all I felt stupid. As I entered the doors on the first day of my minimum wage, less-than-glamorous part-time job, I was simply looking to earn enough money to be able to afford my relationship with alcohol and my ever-growing online shopping cart. I certainly wasn’t looking to find a suitable guy there. I absolutely had no intention of being the catalyst to the end of a relationship.

I don’t get involved with people I work with. The horror stories have been enough to steer me clear of even the possibility in the past. Nor would I make an exception for this moppy-haired, painfully average looking co-worker. The fact he was four years my senior in addition to being my manager should have been even more of a no-no. So, when he began incessantly texting me asking for a simple chance to get to know each other, I scoffed at the idea. I was still hung up on my prior “almost” relationship. Despite it being over months ago, I held on to the insecurity of its failure. Eventually, he convinced me to take a simple late night drive to discuss his point of view. In my mind, it was an opportunity to put an end to things.

He looked at me with the most sincere eyes and told me that he’d never felt the attraction he’d felt towards me. He promised me that he wasn’t looking for an easy hookup, and he would prove it to me, however long it took. I can’t lie, I liked the attention; I craved the affection. I tried to find the ingenuity in his voice, but when I looked at him his eyes screamed nothing but honesty. Looking back, the whole thing reeked of bullshit. But, hindsight is 20/20, and “the players gon’ play, play, play, play, play.” So at the time, I figured I’d give him a chance. What’s the worst that could happen?

I was wary, but each moment I spent with him, I let my guard down more and more. Driving me home from work, turned into getting dinner. And a “how are you doing?” text transformed into all-night conversations. And suddenly he seemed more and more eager to skip to the sex part. Now, I’m no prude, but something made me cautious. I don’t know what it was, but the thought came to my mind that maybe I wasn’t the only one. I can’t be more thankful of that unknown factor that held me back. Finally, shit hit the fan.

The clues he had a girlfriend were all there, but I was oblivious to them all. With each new revelation, he had the perfect response. He washed away all my suspicions with every answer. Finally, a fellow coworker caught on to the chemistry between us and revealed to me that his girlfriend came in the other day when I was off. I was in disbelief. But a part of me knew it was the truth. I had no intention of getting involved in their relationship, though. In my mind, it wasn’t my place. I wanted to be as removed from the situation as possible. If this girl wanted to date a pathological liar, that was her problem. But the more I learned about her, the more she became less of an idea and more of a person. Soon I overheard they had plans to move in together. And, I was far from an isolated incident of cheating for him. I put myself in her shoes and decided to find her Facebook.

As I typed out the message, I tried to make the sting of the content feel less painful. I wasn’t doing it to be vengeful; I wanted her to know the simple truth. I braced myself for her to lash back at me. I was prepared for name calling, “slut”, “hoe”, “liar”, etc. But all I received was gratitude. She messaged me back saying she, “wished more girls were like me,” in the way they handle the situations. The more we conversed, the more I grew to like her, much to my surprise. She didn’t deserve to be treated like dirt, no one does. I ended a nearly year-long relationship after a ten minute Facebook chat.

Yes, I could have pretended like nothing happened. I could have sulked in my own stupidity. But, I’m glad I spoke up. I saved her hopefully many more months leading to inevitable heartbreak. I don’t regret pressing send to the message. I don’t wish I could take back agreeing to meet him that night. I’m glad I could expose someone for who they really are because girls really do need to look out for each other, especially in a world of fuckboys.

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