So there I was my freshman year of college. Pre-Greek life, pre-party girl, pre-anything remotely interesting. It was the eve of my sexual awakening. I had slept with two or three guys at this point but all out of “love” (and nothing besides missionary so does it really even count?). I was adjusting to my first time living away from home and after a month of being a hermit had finally decided to venture out of the comfort of my own dorm room and into the common room. There I met the people I would spend every day and night with for the rest of the year.
I was still pretty shy, so when I decided one of the guys on my floor was cute I kept my distance and did what any normal girl would do — I stole glances in the common room and talked to my friends about him every chance I got. Fast forward to my first college Halloween. The Halloween that made me realize this would forever be my favorite college holiday. I was overjoyed that my costumes no longer had to be original but that the only real standard was the sluttier the better.
I decided that on Saturday, the biggest party of the weekend, I would dress up as Ke$ha because she was a bad bitch who loved to party and what better role model for my college career? As I completed the finishing touches on my costume my friends came to my room with some interesting news. The boy I thought was cute was obsessed with Ke$ha. So I decided what better time to catch his eye than in my glitter, ripped fishnets, and rocker tee? The plan was set. I was to seduce this boy on Saturday.
On Friday I settled on a slutty-and-cliché cat costume. Some friends from home were visiting so along with my roommate we headed off to a party. It was your typical college party. Plenty of kegs and jungle juice with a whole lot of horny guys and girls just trying to find someone to spend the night with. There I was enjoying my night when who do I see walk into the room but the guy I was crushing on. One thing led to another and next thing I knew we were walking through the streets back to our building.
The next day I woke up in a bed other than my own. Confused, I looked around and realized where I was and more importantly, who I was laying next to. Inside I celebrated my victory while slowly slipping out of bed and walking down the hall to my own room. Once my friends got up I was greeted by screams of “YOU WEREN’T EVEN KE$HA!!!!” I had achieved my goal even more easily than I thought.
The next night was just as big of a success. After all, seducing him as Ke$ha was the original plan. We became steady hookup buddies. At this point I’m not sure what was better, consistently getting laid or the convenience of walking just down the hall to consistently get laid.
The one fact that made this even more interesting, however, was that my new FWB was a twin. And over the months of time we spent “getting to know each other” I realized they were as different as could be. And as much as I liked sleeping with Twin #1, I had the biggest crush on Twin #2. Where Twin #1 lacked in being a nice boy, Twin #2 made up for it. But I was sleeping with his brother, his twin brother, so my crush had to stay just a crush so I kept doing my thing with Twin #1.
Eventually, things seemed to all go wrong with Twin #1. I probably did what many girls did and developed feelings that were more than those he had for me. We fought, we fucked (both quite a lot), but when it hit winter break it seemed to all reach an end. So I come back from winter break, ready to rejoin my college friends for another semester of degeneracy. Two weeks into the semester, family day, I’m counting down the minutes until my sweet family departs and I can drink my face off with the rest of my floor. My friends and I had made Jolly Rancher vodka that night (a real treat I would recommend to anyone) and hit the streets to party. After hitting up a few lackluster events we headed back to our floor to just hang with our friends.
At this point, things are a little fuzzy. Lots of vodka had been consumed and the need for a male body in my bed was increasing. The next few moments were a blur. Everyone was in my room. Then I was alone. Then, suddenly, it was me and Twin #2. Next thing I know there I was making Eskimo brothers out of these actual brothers.
The next day I woke up and realized what I had done, but the biggest question was did anyone else? When I heard one of my floor mates shout “Did you get them confused last night?” I knew the answer. So I turned around and walked back in my room and thought about my actions. And you know what? It felt pretty amazing. I had achieved the dream. Fucking twin brothers? Little, innocent, freshman me? Seeing the look on Twin #1’s face wasn’t fun, but I mean we didn’t even date so how mad could he really get?
Not too mad because for a couple weeks I was switching back and forth between both twins. And yeah I guess it wasn’t the most normal series of events but I didn’t and still don’t give a fuck. As you could expect, that didn’t last forever and soon enough freshman year was over. I ended up changing majors and transferring to another school but that didn’t stop me from seeing the twins when I came back to visit. What can I say? When it comes to hot guys, two is totally better than one..
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